Monday, November 14, 2016

# Mosil_ is_ burning

I laid on bed thinking last night of how much luck i have to be far away from this battle in Mosul. Far enough to be unable to hear the loud sound of battle fight that waken up everyone to reality that is hundred times harder and ugliest than their biggest nightmares. 
You too; You are lucky;to have  *Sleep* as a choice to escape the reality you are living! 
How lucky; not to be afraid of falling into sleep and never wake up!
By simply turning off the light; you have nothing to be worried about till the next sunshine.

But In Mosul
 

the sun is not shinning and the stars are not glowing.


It's the piece of earth that didn't taste the Aroma of peace 
and didn't 
know the flavor of rest during the last two and a half year.


Today Mosul is burning from South to North. 
With the sound of it's residences being unheard with medias blacking out on some realities;

You are lucky not be forced to leave your house
 ر



and lucky not to be forced to live in the middle of street's war between ISIS and Iraqi army!
Not to be in middle mean a lot:

1- Mean that you may have ISIS Fighters fighting on the roofs where you are hiding! = the next shelling goal might be the house you are living! 

 2- or you might be less misfortune than the first group. You might only had some mortars accidentally falling on your house; some corpses of ISIS fighter in front of your doors!

Mortars are less harm on the house than Rockets so cheer up; you are the lucky groups. Two of my relatives this far had Mortars falling on their house in the last two days! all were survived but with sadness i received news that we lost my Father's cuisine ( old man on 80 years of age)today. He died after a big explosions took place near by his house in Mosul. He didn't get injured but it seems that the explosion was a leading cause to heart attack maybe!

ISIS used the residences as human shields and used Mosul's neighbourhoods as War zones.

they are Filling the runnels with black oil.

Booby-trapped empty houses and cars.

Exploding bridges that connect the west of Mosul to the east. 

ISIS executing and hanging up tens of corpes of Moslawies on the streets every day!

How terrifying life Moslawies are living ! 
this is a life with the taste of death.
While my life as a person who could fled this is a life with the smell of death.

lately; I always telling my self that i lost any interest in living. this is a truth that I never said but today I heard my father saying that his cousin is lucky to get ride from this hell life!
How hurting that was for me to hear! which time we are living that we feel jealous even from died persons !?

Why this is all happening to Us!
I am really believe and 100% positive that Moslawies are given pure hearts. Of course like any other committee we have bad guys but after all the 
palms of goodness overcome any other. 
and I also believe that the destiny is justice but i can't understand why this is all happening to us! why Mosul? why us??




Tuesday, November 08, 2016

can't talk ! Just pray

You can only live your life once. they said :same feelings and cascades can't be lived again.
But as each equations have some variations. I am here with so many Moslawies living our fears, hurts and pain over again and again.

Each moments that we passed through gave us enough time to feel,think and regret.

every second is passing like a week. I need a coma after a day full of chaos and senses.
I need more than a pen to write about my feeling, I need more than a mind to understand them!

I am just feeling that we are part of somebody's else game, a game that I have no desire to play and no ability to watch.

I fled the city of Mosul after 2014 cascades but whether I want this or not; my roots are still there. Each hurts that hit Moslawies, hit me as well. Each shell that killed a military soldier fighting against ISIS and fighting for Mosul is killing me as well.

I can't stop watching news and checking facebook page of # الحرس الوطني 
I can't stop looking for answers to my questions, looking for new news, and most importantly a good news.
After all, I end up with a body that is empty from his soul, counting days and hours till this nightmare end. I don't like to be pessimistic but I can't help being otherwise.

There is always a reality that I am afraid to write about even thought I am still writing posts using pseudonym.



while I am writting this, there are peoples in Mosul so close to my heart, living the fears every seconds!

While I am getting really frighten when my daughter get cold, there are mothers in Mosul having fears about what will happened to their child if they will be bombed, having fears that death is waiting their child and waiting their lovers.

Anyone from us can't put himself in Moslawies shoes these days. Not even me!
As I heared from many relatives who lived through Iraq war with Iran and with Kuwait and Iraq war in 2003. All said that Mosul fall in 2014 was the worst thing that they have ever experience.

Mosul will be liberated at the end but I am wondering of how many lives will be left there !

Stay safe; my family and friends




Tuesday, October 18, 2016

This too shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone! But it shall pass

with silent I am watching; My city getting hurt !
 Only prayers and rosarys; I resite day and night .
I waited for this libration for so long. Long enough to feel like it might last forever. Today;I am not unable to define which feelings cope the other: fears or the expectancy joy.
 May Allah be with you my relatives and friends.
 Only time seperate us from the end of this game. But we ran out of patient.
 Me and my parents are not talking to each other, everyone is sitting in his own room, sharing his pains and prayers with only God and I can't stand seeing my parents this way. Please time; Go fast!

 يا غارة الله جدي الحل مسرعة
 Mosul is on Allah preservation and protection.
 # الموصل_تتحرر
 #انقذوا_اهل_الموص
#الموصل_طبلها الجيش

Monday, August 15, 2016

Chains that have blooded my wrists.

As far as I knew; this is my married golden cage. As a matter of fact; it used to be mine !
while I am trying to accept the idea that i lost my apartment after ISIS getting control of my belongs and properties. I woke up to the news from one neighbor of us in Mosul,that a family from ISIS are living in what was called  our house !!!!!!!!!!

while I am living this non settlement ; there is a women (ISIS's wife) cooking on my kitchen!
using my own spoons and folks ! sleeping on my bed and spreading her poison everywhere.

For this obtrusive ISIS;

Don't wear my clothes! my wedding dress cost me days to find, don't touch it.
Keep it virgin as it was, pure from violent, hatred and  malignity.

Don't threw out my photo albums !
Pictures are all what left from my past, Don't thrust on my broken heart.
Don't cancel my history, Don't smash my presence..

Don't sit on my sofa, don't sit where I used to think of my plans and dreams.
Don't sit where my plans were stand and where my dreams fear to proceed.

Don't treat on a ground that I used to pray on !
don't distort my Islam with your dirty deeds.




I never felt peace inside that apartment but I am not feeling home without.

The idea of hard work and money saved that my husband did are going now for the serve of one terrorist is killing me !

أن تسأل الدار إن كانت تذكرنا

أم أنها نسيت إذ أهلها رحلوا

أن تسأل السقف هل مازال منتصبًا

فوق الجدار شموخًا رغم ما فعلوا

أم أنها ركعت للأرض ساجدة

تشكو إلى الله في حزن وتبتهل

هيهات يا دار أن تصفو الحياة بنا

ويرجع الجمع بعد النأي مكتمل

لكن روحي ستبقى فيها ساكنة

ما لي بأطمة لا شاة ولا جمل



What justice I am expecting from the world! when the only way to get my revenge from ISIS is to bombard my apartment !

What justice I am expecting from united nation high commissioner for refugees when after more that two year of registration, I get nothing but a printed paper of asylum seeker certificate !
I am fighting my own battle alone and I am feeling hopeless from everyone including myself.

I feel fully tired. Pains are accumulating inside my soul. Past memories passing as a shadow in front of my eyes and giving me nothing except hurt !
There is no hope I can hold and no dream I can catch.

" I can't be seen,
can't be felt,
can't be heard, can't be smelt.
 it lies behind stars and under hills ,
and empty holes it fills."

could your bias allow you to put yourself in my place,
What will you feel if:
Your school and college were bombed,
the hotel where you held your wedding party was erased from the ground.
your house was taken by ISIS and is being lived by some of them !
you find no place to live in peace with your humanity inside your own country,
you fled your country to start living as a refugee in other country that barring your work permission.
you didn't see your sisters for years, didn't heard anything from some of your friend since you had left, some of your relatives are in Mosul and living under the injustice of ISIS and you can't help them !
you have to live away from your husband most of the days during the week.
and you have a toddler that you have to raise as everything is quit normal !

how was that?
stand by my side and share my appeal


Wednesday, August 03, 2016

Please be with us ...

Mosul now is completely isolated from the outer world , ISIS have prohibited internet connections and threatened to punish any one who would use it . No one can be reached inside Mosul , we no nothing about people there…. how are they ?, what do they eat ? . 2 millions people are stucked there , lacking the basics to survive , suffering starvation and living days full of fears from an unknown future . We are wondering about the fate of those who couldn’t find their way to escape out of the city and forced to live under the wild laws of ISIS , beside every nights episodes of air strikes that are destroying the city.
Day by day , the iraqi forces are getting closer to the south of Mosul  , the fighting now is near al qayyarah ( 300 km north to Baghdad) , many people fled the fighting are now struggling  in the desert with no food ,water and shelter , and the government as usual gives them the cold shoulder!!
United nations reports warn from a disaster in DEBAKAH camp ( near Erbil) , there is no water to drink there and the people use their own clothes as tents under unbearble sun with temperature of 50 degrees!!! Children are sleeping on the sand , pregnant women give birth inside a dirty tent !! . 



People fled to DEBAKAH in response to the government promises that they will be safe and that the government has put good plans to accomodate them but as usual , it abandoned them. Shurqat and Qayyarah are the main cities from which the people fled to Debakah escaping the war. While the total population count is only nearly 160000 , the government and the non govermental or international organizations failed to rescue them ..so how would deal with a big city as Mosul with nearly 2 Millions people !! Again , the government and united nations are giving promises to deal with the crisis but nothing is going to be done!!
Humans in Iraq no longer have any value ! People are killed on daily basis , millions lost their homes and now have nothing to eat , with the world watches in deathly hush! I’d read a post on washington post which touched my feeling deeply , the post had a title  of “The worst isis attack in days is the one the world probably cares least about” referring to the massive explosion at Alkarradah in Baghdad which killed more than 200 people. The author critisized the carelessness of the world toward the crimes in Iraq while it  react aggressively to those everywhere else!!

We don’t deserve all of this , we are also humans and must have our rights . We need to live in peace just like the others.