Sunday, December 04, 2011

This website was never mere a blog to me !


May I say that I miss blogging, I miss being Hadia behind the keyboard, writing on her ideas, fears and thoughts... I miss having the courage to admit my poorness ! and having the faith that I can solve it all .

This life steal years from us, I grow up so fast and yes it seems that my adult's problems and stress are bigger * I confess dear childhood*.
Recently, I feel that maybe what I see is not what is going on, Everything seems fake and everyone look different.The college look different, My friends look different, I look different myself " I loose 2 kilos :) "
NO,SERIOUSLY: our yard battle "our life" seems different !

previously in my posts history I wrote a phrase that was written in the cover of my book
" I feel that I have been sleeping all my life and I have woken up and opened my eyes to the words. A beautiful world but impossible to live in "
These are the words of fifteen years old Hadiya

But the words of twenty two years old Hadiya :
" I feel that I have been dupe in my life, and I have woken up and opened my eyes to see the truth and my mind choose to close and will still choose to close as much as this worlds is not a the beautiful world and as much as I want to make it possible to be lived in !"

I need a whole new blog site to write all what I am feeling and living through.
I don't know, but I feel that this life is giving me lessons lately, too much home works and hard exams I may not be able to pass !

I also don't know why I am not able to speak clearly, and why I hide the story beyond this phrases and why knowing that my fiance or someone I know may read this words make me unable to write!

Frankly speaking,I loose my writing habit after my engagement. Obviously this prince stole more that my heart !!! :) BUT,May I ask : why he is not writing?

I miss writing, I miss it soooo much, but I miss my fiance too :(
why I change the subject ? I always change the subject, I can't focus! more than ten ideas visit my head every minute *And you still ask why I have a traffic jam ??

right now I feel that:
I need to write!
I shall and I must and I will probably well ... this website was never mere a blog to me !