Saturday, August 09, 2014

A cry

You gave me strength but always after pain
You taught me to fight but mostly in vain.
I am alife,
Yes , My heart is beating
but my breath is stand still.
I lost the words to write about my story,  to write about the lilly of my desert,  to write about the beauty of my parents eyes and the warmth that their sounds gived to my heart. 
I lost the words to write about the pain of my country .
And how scared I was within it and how lost I am without.
I really can't express my feeling now but something inside me died with days and as I guess nothing could ever give me more hurt and pain than I already have.
#in a matter of days, I turned from an iraqi pharmacist from hight social class in Mosul to a refugee pregnant woman with no job,  no home adress and only 2000$
# a person who are counting the days to have a call from the IOM to get an appointment for interview which simply may take a year or so till the IOM will decide whether I deserve to have a station in US to start my life over again or not.   That's include to study and certify my pharmacy degree over again !
# I am abviously have a chronic depression eposide and have no close person to talk to ,since all persons I know are already living their own tragedy.
# I lost my uncle in the middle of this.
# I lost *well all of us lost*  the best historical and islamic mosque in Mosul due to ISIS attack. 
I didn't only leave mosul,  Mosul left me back,  old memories,  places and friends all left me.  I am alone all alone.
And have nothing can do,  all I am doing is crying !!

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