Tuesday, November 13, 2007

eyes on my life

Salam to all,

The winter is coming and the weather is getting cold every day, Najma and Aya have a flue already, and I am not feeling fine theses couple of days.

I have very good news, I was accepted in pharmacy college in Mosul University.

I am so eager to go throw this experience and start a new life as a college student. I still remember very well my first steps in the primary school and I still remember how scare I was and how I spent the first days following Najma from place to place. Najma, Poor girl, happy because I didn’t apply to her college. Who want to be with a sister in the same college anyway!!

A way from her eyes is a great opportunities for me to be natural, but my cousin who is two years older than me is also learning pharmacy in the same college so I am not really can do stupidities and get away from them without being noticed. I know that my cousin is very good boy and he will help me while being in college but I am still not relieve for the idea of having a relative in my college.

I am still not sure when I will start my college but I guess the time is not far away.

I will see a people, I will see streets and will learn knowledge ( I will have a life) .

PٍS:all our study and courses are in English, I know my English is good but I don’t know any of the medical words, I can’t even pronounce most of them. I am searching for a medical dictionary, better to be English-Arabic. And if you find a dictionary I can download it on computer it’s will be great even if it’s English- English.

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The situation is Mosul is still getting worse but in the other hand there are things getting better. A few roads which were close last two months, today they are open.

Talking about negative situation:

Before two weeks, our neighbor’s brother who is about 30 years old, married and having a kid did’t return to home. They thought that he was kidnapped and they waited a call from the people who kidnapped him, wanted money for the sake of his release. Unfortunately, no one call. And two days later he was found in the postmortem room. Today, our neighbor called and said that he is leaving Iraq to Armenia .

The basic is:

We are still insecure and in danger even when we are in our own house. But life goes on.

Your pharmacist friend from iraq

Friday, November 02, 2007

...

Salam to all,

As you all know, I finished my hight school this year with a good average, high enough to enter the collage I want.

After I got my mark, I began to think seriously about what I want to be. I always dream to go to Pharmacy College but for some reason I hesitated about it.

To be a pharmacist is a good and suitable job for me if I will work in Iraq. But Will I have a future as a pharmacist if I’ll leave Iraq!! . I don’t trust the situation to be better tomorrow.

So, I was between choosing to go to pharmacy college, Dentistry College and Art cultural college. I asked for advices, I hear people opinions and I was completely lost. I was really unable to take a decision and that make me feel very angry.

After a while I removed Art cultural college from my list and I began to take different decision everyday, everyday I change my mind and everyday I fall apart.

I compare between the two collages and it’s led me to:

If I chose Dentistry College I will be called a doctor, I will have a future job outside Iraq. Dentistry College is easier to study than Pharmacy College, the building of dentistry college loohs great, but in the other hand, I will be hated by all children and I am not sure if I will not hate myself too. I can’t imagine myself putting my hand in someone’s mouth. I can’t stand the smell of the mouths. At the end, I asked my dentist for advice and he said that pharmacy is more suitable for women.

Although, Pharmacy is very hard college, may not have a good future as a job, the building of pharmacy’s college look like a Gail and pharmacist are called chemists in some other countries; but I am very much like chemistry and I am in love with everything associated with it. Pharmacy was always the college I dreamed of. So I took my options and write:

Mosul University, the college of pharmacy as the first option

Mosul University, the college of dentistry as the second option

Usually, Medicine College is the college number one which needs the highest marks; the dentistry college is the college number two and then pharmacy college. Although my marks are high enough to go to Medicine College, but I never think to be a doctor. It’s a hard job in Iraq especially after the war. Doctors are in danger to be kidnapped and to be murder plus they have to sleep in the hospitals. And I am completely surrounded by doctor, my father, my uncle, my sister and my brother in law. I don’t think I am going to be good on that, seeing blood, seeing injured people. I have a weak heart, I know I can’t stand all that.

Anyway, although I chose Pharmacy College but I have to take an exam and then my mark will lead me to one of the two colleges: pharmacy or dentistry.

I am eager to go to college but the problem is, I am not studying. I tried and tried but I got nothing. I can’t focus in what I am reading; in fact I read the book and my mind in something else. I can’t help it… But my position is still good, even if I'll get zero.

:)

see you later,

The girl who was H.N.K