This website was never mere a blog to me !

May I say that I miss blogging, I miss being Hadia behind the keyboard, writing on her ideas, fears and thoughts... I miss having the courage to admit my poorness ! and having the faith that I can solve it all .

This life steal years from us, I grow up so fast and yes it seems that my adult's problems and stress are bigger * I confess dear childhood*.
Recently, I feel that maybe what I see is not what is going on, Everything seems fake and everyone look different.The college look different, My friends look different, I look different myself " I loose 2 kilos :) "
NO,SERIOUSLY: our yard battle "our life" seems different !

previously in my posts history I wrote a phrase that was written in the cover of my book
" I feel that I have been sleeping all my life and I have woken up and opened my eyes to the words. A beautiful world but impossible to live in "
These are the words of fifteen years old Hadiya

But the words of twenty two years old Hadiya :
" I feel that I have been dupe in my life, and I have woken up and opened my eyes to see the truth and my mind choose to close and will still choose to close as much as this worlds is not a the beautiful world and as much as I want to make it possible to be lived in !"

I need a whole new blog site to write all what I am feeling and living through.
I don't know, but I feel that this life is giving me lessons lately, too much home works and hard exams I may not be able to pass !

I also don't know why I am not able to speak clearly, and why I hide the story beyond this phrases and why knowing that my fiance or someone I know may read this words make me unable to write!

Frankly speaking,I loose my writing habit after my engagement. Obviously this prince stole more that my heart !!! :) BUT,May I ask : why he is not writing?

I miss writing, I miss it soooo much, but I miss my fiance too :(
why I change the subject ? I always change the subject, I can't focus! more than ten ideas visit my head every minute *And you still ask why I have a traffic jam ??

right now I feel that:
I need to write!
I shall and I must and I will probably well ... this website was never mere a blog to me !

Readers who are interested:
like my new page on facebook : IraqiGirl Diary
Contact me on : hnk1989@gmail.com

helllo faithful reader !!

I am not a perfect person, and yes I don't have the perfect life but as I have my family next beside me and my fiancé near by, I am grateful and feeling happy and really think that this is the perfect life !

Alhamdulillah

فالحمد لله موصولا كما وجبا ....
فهو برداءة العزة أحتجبا
الباطن الظاهر الحق الذي عجزت ...
عنه المدارك لما أمعنت طلبا

I passed the 4th stage in collage with high marks and I only have one year left to be a pharmacist :)

Alhamdulillah

We traveled to turkey before a month and we spent a very pleasant time there for 14 days…. And now we are in this beautiful month of the year " Ramadan" and I am busy in doing nothing ! " another excuse of not writing, ha?"

Right now, I feel that I lost my writing ability !! probably due to not posting for looong time, which make me feel that I am not doing my best and so I am not satisfied about myself lately especially when I compare myself to the last few years!!

OK, I needed a rest and I am in holiday and I deserve this (maybe !!)

Readers who are interested:
like my new page on facebook : IraqiGirl Diary
Contact me on : hnk1989@gmail.com

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Now:

It’s 11:30 pm,

It’s raining heavily outside, although we are in summer!!!!

And I didn’t do my exam yesterday, although I did have one!!!

And I am not feeling comfort, although I slept for 10 hours!!

Things not only goes unexpectedly but unrealistically as well

Toxicology is the subject that I hate most in this course of my studying and I had Toxicology exam yesterday which mean that yesterday was bloody and drastic day in my mental life, In the other hand: I did feel that I must do it with pleasure that if i want to live with peace the day after since I will be done from it..

Unfortunately, at 6:45 AM my friend waked me from my nightmare to another nightmare when she said that “there is a curfew”

There is a curfew = there is no exam today = I have to prepare for this exam once again = more nightmares = more miserable = and more bad thoughts that I can’t no longer handle!!

:((

There was a curfew yesterday, and there is a curfew today and there may be a curfew tomorrow and what else’s??? Do they want us to stop living? Wasn’t the 8 years of NOT living enough for them!!

when will this end! When will this soul have peace?

Readers who are interested:

like my new page on facebook : IraqiGirl Diary

Contact me on : hnk1989@gmail.com

I am tired of being Iraqi

Sometimes, everything goes as a race and you are in the middle of these have to focus on one thing (EXAM!!!)

Am I the only one who think that revolution in Tunisia and Egypt are really more interest than Toxicology!! I am sure I am not.

Yes, I had the interest in watching news!!

Weird to have that feeling after all that years of stop!! You can say that what happened in Egypt revive some feeling inside me. The revolution nationally inspired me and a ray of hope was seen in my eyes…. BUT unfortunately no longer!!!

The revolution in Iraq which took place on Friday killed all the laughter, and the hope faint away so far!!

May I not watch news anymore, please!!!