Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Kids in school


KIDS IN GRADE SCHOOL THINK FAST.

TEACHER: Why are you late?

WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L
TEACHER: No, that's wrong JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: George

TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLIE: Me!

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I." ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."

TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? PUPIL: A teacher.





16 comments:

Jeff said...

Good to see you back, Hinky!

First flags, now jokes! Both nice. Hope school is going okay and you don't have the flu.

Will you try to write something again yourself soon? Something short is okay. I remember your post about the butterflies and being young, it was really nice. Don't give up because it seems too hard; you do a nice job.

Jeff

Libby said...

Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line ?
Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there !

Libby_in_Canada

Fayrouz said...

Hi Hnk,

I needed to laugh today. Your post made me laugh and happy. Good to see you back.

David said...

These are funny, hnk. :) Sometimes kids really do see things differently from adults. I remember when I was five years old, a man working in our yard asked me to put his bottle of coke in the icebox. So, I took the bottle inside and I put it into the freezer. Well, the coke froze, expanded, and broke the glass bottle. The man was understandably angry at me. By "icebox", he meant the refrigerator, but I didn't know that. I just put the coke where the ice was. :)

Jan said...

hi Hnk,
Good to see you back.
A teacher askes her Dutch student how to pronounce qualified in English.
The student pronouced the word qualified.
"Wrong" said the teacher and she pronouced the correct word.
Well said the student, there will always be a Brit who pronouces it like me.

Anonymous said...

the jokes were just slightly racists, werent they? all american names, especialy george washington. hahaha, those stupid americans. arabs are so much better than the rest of the world. god, i hate being an american. i wish for one day i could live in iraq as a proud muslim and beat my 7 wives and dig through garbage for food because im too lazy to get a job, then i could come home and put some more straw on the roof of my shack. what a fantastic life.

Anonymous said...

Hi HNK,
I loved the jokes! That's just what I needed this morning.

David,

I was at a party when I was in junior high and we had some Pepsi we wanted to get cold fast. So we put it in the freezer. Unfortunately we forgot about it! What a mess!

Anonymous at 3:06,

Stuff a sock in it! The girl is just trying to have some fun!


Take care, HNK.

Lynnette in Minnesota

Mad Canuck said...

Hi hnk, these jokes were good. I hadn't heard any of them before and got a good laugh out of them.

David/Lynnette: I had a similar story happen to me - a few years ago my mom forgot a can of Coke in her car when she came home from work on a cold winter night, and sometime overnight, the Coke froze and the can just exploded. We came out in the morning to find this sticky brown ice (frozen Coke) splattered all over the inside windows, all over the seats, the steering wheel, and even the car's roof.

Anonymous @ 3:06: I agree with Lynnette in Minnesota - stuff a sock in it! hnk's jokes are funny and harmless. Your nasty comments, on the other hand, are not.

Shawn.

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Anonymous said...

Those jokes are so funny! I want to send them to friends! Some people have no sense of humor sometimes.(bad comments). stupid people. How can you make a joke into racism!(who does that?) It's suppossed to make you laugh.duh!
Awesome jokes though. They gave me a good laugh. Thanks. Oh yeah and I'm reading your book now. I feel so bad about everything. If i could do something about it I would!