Monday, October 22, 2007

Or not

Are we crazy or we are not?

Before a couple of days, Najma’s friend told her that she will do a visit to our house the day after. Najma was planning to make بسكت بارد (sort of sweet), she didn’t have a time to cook it during the day so at about one am and while I was working on the computer; I saw the light of the kitchen lit on.” Najma surely lose her mind, cooking sweet after the mid-night” I thought.

A minute later, she came asking for help which is something I ready to do especially if this help is cooking. We were both in the kitchen cooking, laughing and trying not to make noise so we won’t be cauught by grandma or mom who will definitely tell everyone that we were cooking sweet in the night, and because my aunt in law is one from everyone’s group, that will lead us to be the major subject in the latest news. After all, we were enjoying our private process and we were wondering if we are crazy or not J

While we were both in the middle of this, the electricity turns off.

In the dark, we were both laughing and sure that we are crazy. Anyway, the dark didn’t stop us from continuing what we had started. Thanks Allah, we didn’t be caught but there was certainly shock look on mom’s face when she opened the refrigerator and saw the sweet ;)

Is there a curfew or there is not?

The day after that, Najma’s friend came to our house as we expected but she only staid for a quarter an hour and her brother called her and said that the policemen said that there is a curfew. Minutes later, her father came to take her and she went without tasting the sweet, without finishing Najma’s photo album, and without open a subject to talk about.

Can you believe this?

An hour later the curfew ended, she is certainly a lucky girl L

Are we chickens or we are not?

There is a fact say there are no cars in the street after 7pm and there is another fact says Iraqi people go to sleep at about 10 pm and the question is: when did the chicken go to sleep, before or after 10?

In my case and in Najma’s case and in the case of each young Iraqi we won’t go to bed before 11 pm because we are * I don’t know* and because other reasons which I don’t really realize them yet but in our parents’ case, oh yeah they do go to bed early. My mom was talking with her brother on the net who live in United Arab emirate and he mentioned that he will go to eat ice cream in the 9 pm, mom told him that she is fighting to keep awake and not sleep till 10 and he was unbelieving that and he questioned “ are you chickens?”

So really are we chickens?

Is it a life or it’s not?

I can’t forget that during Saddam’s time, we were go to eat ice cream everyday after midnight. Oh, I want the old days to come back, I want the old day to come back. I want to see the moon, to see the sky afternoon, to see the hope coming soon, to see the life like a movie cartoon not like a frighten movie night, not like that. I want to be a normal girl, living a normal life. Not this girl who is sitting in front of the computer, writing a diary and trying to be such a funny, lovely girl. I want to take off hnk’s nickname and I want to throw out her bad memories and I want to clean her heart from pain and I want just to be myself and just to talk to myself and just to hear my voice and just to play my role.

I just want to be..

To be someone else

PC: I wonder if she is me who write in this blog or she is not!

And I wonder if she is not, so who is she? I wonder…

Yours,

Me, myself not I

16 comments:

John said...

We don't think you're crazy at all. We think you're very intelligent. Please stay safe. I wish you were somewhere else, somewhere safe, and all these horrible things didn't happen to you, but you don't have to wish to be someone else because the person who you are is already wonderful regardless of whether you are happy or sad. Best wishes and a prayer

A&Eiraqi said...

Hi H.N.K
The time you're living now is great; this is something you'll realize when you read this post ten years later.
Don't think I'm mad or I don't appreciate the circumstances around you; but we'll see.
You've got someone to share cooking with at late night; very nice, stick to her as much as possible; I don't eat at night frequently as I have to eat on my own; without anyone else.

Anyway
Iraqis are not chicken but they've got nothing to do after 10; when I was a child, my father used to force us to sleep at 8 p.m!!!

It's a very hard life; but it's a life, just before reading your post I was complaining to a friend of mine about the documents which I haven't got yet and I'm unable to work till I get them, he replied by telling me about one of our friends who died and also his uncle who was killed; what a life?

When you asked is she the same; I sank in a deep thought; what do I miss in Iraq; I realized that I miss myself before anything else; I miss the good one I used to be; does he exist anymore?
Never ever stop.....please go on
Many thanks for you genuine post

H.N.K said...

John,
thank you.

a&eiraqi,
Thank you for your comment, thank you for sharing us your thought, and thank you for your encouragement.

I guess all the parents are the same, my parents also forced us to sleep at 8pm when we were in the primary school.

I will follow your advice and stick around Najma :) weird how our relationship change in the last year.she was my enemies not my sister, and now she is my friend more than my sister.
we grow up, I guess

steen said...

Hi HNK (not your real name, I know. Your real name is NKH, right?)

Is it a life or it’s not?
I love this writing. Reading your words is like listening to music. [I like language - I teach English.]
And the answer? No, it isn't a life at all. It is not how life should be lived. A mere caricature of life. Too bad. Dream of your visit to Maebashi...and bring me some of the sweets.
Regards, steen

A&Eiraqi said...

H.N.K
Was she really your enemy?
You remind me of my little sister; we used to fight for no reason, the principle was to disagree rather than to agree!!!!
Those nice problems we had like on which channel we set the T.V and who gets the control?
هذافد شي يسموه (رويسية) يعني الاخوان المتعاقبين : واحد براس اللاخ : وهذول يظلون يتعاركون طول الوقت او كلما تسنحلهم فرصة
ذكريات حلوة

تحياتي

khalid jarrar said...

Hello there:D

first mabroook for the new template i totally love it!
:D

and the post is amazing too i laughed and it kept me smiling for a long time when you said you were in the dark laughing and sure that you are crazy hehe :D i love your writing style very smooth.

as for the end, stop whining you horrible iraqi! say il 7amdulillah and have patience, 2immana yowaffa a99abiroon ajrahom bi`3ayri 7isab, inshalla ma2jooreen, alla yi7meekom o tikhla9 il azma 3ala kher asap inshalla.

khalid jarrar said...

oops!

innama yowaffa i99abiroon ajrahom bi`3ayri 7isab...

Anonymous said...

You know what they say "If I wasn't crazy I would probly go insane". Staying crazy in a insane world is healthy.

EdoRiver said...

Hi HNK.
Sometimes I mix up in my mind your initials because the Japanese national TV is NHK.
Oh the reason I don't visit.
1) I spend alot of time studying Japanese this year.
2)I do visit Treasure of Baghdad and read and post.

BUT I will come more often. You are the same age as our youngest Daughter, Erika Shoko, and our oldest daughter is the same age as your sister.

Anonymous said...

hello HNK

Do you remember when I told you that cats are beautiful and should not be hated
you replied "Not all that glitter is gold "
okay see this

photo
, maybe it will change ur mind

this is a very nice and impressive post BTW.

AO said...

I believe in Sunshine's Straregy!!!

optimism is my strategy always…


Good Luck!

AO

David said...

Hnk, you and Najma are crazy! But, I am crazy too. Maybe that's why I read both of your blogs. ;)

I wish I could taste your sweet cooking!

I'm glad you two are becoming good friends. :)

H.N.K said...

Thank you all.

anonymous," Staying crazy in a insane world is healthy"
How wise!!
I like it.

Anonymous said...

H.N.K.

I love it that you and Najma could have a fun night together. I think you’re at the age when parents’ and kid’s biological clocks are different regardless of the political situation. I wish you could enjoy it more often!!

Your Mom and Grandma might have known what was going on and wanted it to be a happy time for both of you;)

I hope someday soon you will be able to wander out in the middle of the night and get ice cream together. My son and daughter are finally friends and when they are home at the same time they become creatures of the night together – trips to 24-hour discount stores, fast food places, ice cream and visiting friends on similar schedules. I don’t feel it’s fair that you are missing out on that part of growing up.

I have three sisters scattered about and they are my best friends – enjoy happy moments with Najma..

I'm so sorry for what my country’s administration has done to disrupt these important years of your life.

I just looked back at your archives -- I’ve been reading blog for a long time and feel I’ve watched you grow up. Good job young lady!!

Take care, be safe and let all of us who care about you know you’re okay, even if it’s just a one-liner whenever you can get online.

steen said...

Hi hnk, still thinking of you. Keep going. Try to be yourself despite the horror you are in. I wish you could escape for a little while, though, to enjoy life, relax - you know, the usual stuff.
bye, steen

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