Saturday, August 09, 2014

A cry

You gave me strength but always after pain
You taught me to fight but mostly in vain.
I am alife,
Yes , My heart is beating
but my breath is stand still.
I lost the words to write about my story,  to write about the lilly of my desert,  to write about the beauty of my parents eyes and the warmth that their sounds gived to my heart. 
I lost the words to write about the pain of my country .
And how scared I was within it and how lost I am without.
I really can't express my feeling now but something inside me died with days and as I guess nothing could ever give me more hurt and pain than I already have.
#in a matter of days, I turned from an iraqi pharmacist from hight social class in Mosul to a refugee pregnant woman with no job,  no home adress and only 2000$
# a person who are counting the days to have a call from the IOM to get an appointment for interview which simply may take a year or so till the IOM will decide whether I deserve to have a station in US to start my life over again or not.   That's include to study and certify my pharmacy degree over again !
# I am abviously have a chronic depression eposide and have no close person to talk to ,since all persons I know are already living their own tragedy.
# I lost my uncle in the middle of this.
# I lost *well all of us lost*  the best historical and islamic mosque in Mosul due to ISIS attack. 
I didn't only leave mosul,  Mosul left me back,  old memories,  places and friends all left me.  I am alone all alone.
And have nothing can do,  all I am doing is crying !!

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Jan said...

Keep strong Hadia!
Stay with your man and take every opportunity to rescue yourself. First priority is you and your baby.

take care,

Cathy Dadson said...

I will pray for you that one day you will be able to come to a democratic world where you won't ever have to worry about war again! May Allah lift you up out of this depression and give you hope in the form of your baby.

Hadia said...

Thanks Jan. My husband is truely my everything now

Hadia said...

Inshallah cathy inshallah :)
Thanks for your wish

Kenneth Tyssen said...

I read your book two years ago, and only now I find your blog. You are living in tragic times in country that has seen all too much tragedy. Every day I hope for good news from Iraq, but the news is seldom good.

I recently heard from an Iraqi-American friend of mine who has (Sunni) relatives living in Baghdad that they were going to leave the city. But they have no idea where they will go.

Inshallah peace will come to Iraq soon. I wish you strength and courage.

Hadia said...

Thanks kenneth for your wishes.

jarvenpa said...

If the concern and love of an old woman far away means anything, know that you have it. And you have it, whether it means anything or not. Sending love and good wishes to you.

Hadia said...

it will certainly mean to me :)
thank you

Bea Waltz said...

I read your blog and I am deeply touched. You are a brave, sensitive, intelligent woman. Great Respect for you. I wish you and your family all imaginable good and that your child grows up in peace and happiness.

Hadia said...

Ameen Bea,
thank really for the nice words and nice wishes. said...

Hey dear Hnk, I hope you found a place, some good comfort. But I fear you didn't find such a place. Whenever you get a chance, please leave a note?

Anonymous said...

Stay strong, Hadiya and happy Eid, keep writing, we support you :))

Anonymous said...

Please let us know that you are safe. There must be some way to send you aid or to assist you somehow. Sending you my prayers for safety, health and happiness; I hope they find you.

Uouo Uo said...

جزاكم الله خيرا"

شركه تنظيف

Anonymous said...

Hadia don't give up. It is hard for others to understand what Iraqis went through.. Yes, it is IOM. Yes it is 1 year or more to be resettled. Yes, you have to Recertify. And, Yes, you will need a lot of money to keep your same standard of living at your new Homeland until you become a Qualified Pharmacist again. But, you will do it.. Is there a way to contact you privately?

Hadia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hadia said...

Dave Inportland said...

I only recently started to read your blog and I am so sorry to read about all your have experienced. I wish you the best in the future and I hope one day you can find a peaceful life.

Callie G. said...

Hadia, My sixth grade class and I read your book this year. It touched each of our hearts, and made us realize that the world is not perfect. We then began to read your current blog, and we could not believe our eyes. While we had been reading the book, we thought that your situation was terrible. We never imagined that it could get any worse. Reading this post broke my heart. We all wish you the best and we hope that you can one day find a safe place to live with your husband and child, and that one day, the war and death and horror will stop.
Sincerely with best wishes,
An American Sixth Grade Girl.

Anonymous said...

Honestly I read your book and I and loved It. I bet your life is scary as you explained.Also congratulations on getting married

Anonymous said...

hi Hadia, I am reading your book now and I was really happy to see that there is a girl from Iraq that wrote a blog about her life. I am also from Iraq but I left when I was 5. I hope that one day everything will be fine in Iraq and everyone can come back.