Rumbling...

Wow; It has been a big change in my life at all aspects and levels since I begin this blog . Well; I guess part two of my diary book will be more enthusiasm and have unexpected events but common to the previous one with no view of the future. I mentioned previously that life can never get worse but day after day during the last ten years of my life; Life surprise me of it's bad wrong orientation, and i reach to the point that I am no longer thinking of how bad it is really ( It can always get worse for Iraqis). I am only praying for bad things not to come. Thinking of my past giving me grief feelings covered with headache and dizziness. It resemble the feeling of looking to the bottom from a height hills while you have to cross to another side. I am now in the middle of this road, I have to cross it without being able to take backward steps, I have to keep my eyes on my feet but those memories in the bottoms are always distract me and give me fears and worries to keep on. .

What an art!! It have been a century since I hold a pen to draw. I am thinking seriously of going back to practice my hobby in drawing since my psychological situation is getting seriously danger and I need something to keep me busy from thinking. I visited all Pharmacist in the neighbor and asked them if they will ever accept me to work with them even without salary but there is no hope as long as there is no working license. OK Ok Ok stop complaining . Let's talk how a 26 ( sooner be 27) refugee mother spend her day ! My daily life are truly completely being control by one and less than a half years old Daughter. My lovely Dima is a funny UN average baby. She learned how to walk but she can't crawl ! She is getting so scared from high sound but at the same time when she cry; all the middle east will hear her sound ! She is in Love with eating everything even shoes but at the same time, she don't eat much food ! She is sensitive, caring and loving daughter as long as her father are here with us. Once he leave; both of us ( me and Dima) get a bad ethics. * Don't get close, we might explode into tears* . For me; marriage is the stability in the middle of mess.  The times I spent married living with my husband are equal  to those we spent far away from each other ! Anyway, thanks God I have my parents near by my side, I reached the point after ISIS attack when I thought that I will never see them again.  My lovely parent's; God protect and save you... I love you ( I know you are reading this!) I am also thankful to god for having  Dima. I was born to be a mother. I love this girl more than my heart can hold from love. I need her more than she need me! just think about it. Who will ever think of waiting me at the door when I am in the bathroom except her!? who will ever wake me up if I forgot to adjust the alarm before i go to bed!? who will ever force me to laugh while i am totally depress.  This girl is a gift from Allah to all of us : me, her father, and my parents.