Saturday, May 20, 2017

Home sickness; Not really

home sickness ! No No No; Maybe in the first hundred days after leaving mosul; maybe in the first few months when i was still holding hope that sun will shine tomorrow. maybe when i had house and family still living in Mosul . Now; after this terrible; difficult unbearable 3 years. after I lost what I lost. I can say; I have no cells on me crave to go back even after the *distructive liberation* is nearly over. I crave only for my Family; friends and schools. I crave most of the time to the food !! I crave to my old me. I am no longer that same Hadia. calling back memories refund blood supplies to my brain; I feel weird seeing the pictures of Mosul streets. I was discussing this with my husband last night. we both feel something that is hard to discribe as we both were part of this place three years ago.In the same time we used a contraversy word to describe the feeling; I wad telling my husband; seeing the pictures of this places gave me "gauzy" feeling ! While; he said in the same moment "yeah, grimy" ! we fell into laughing as we were thinking; after 5 year of marriage; we became thinking mostly the same ! * wrong* I feel that there is kind of external hard disk where those memoried are save; kind of hard to recall them but in the same time it's details are etched. It's kind of feeling that they are not belonging to me ! or it belong to me in another life! or it just memories that happened thousands of months ago ! I don't know! those are only pictures in my head !

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