I didn’t know if he was my dream or I was his... but now I have faith that, we are each others destiney.
I surprised myself this month in doing this big decision in my life especially after a year that was from the hardest years I've lived ..
I, the one who have a hesitated personality, the one who spends hours thinking when I want to choose things as simple as shoes!!l! I found myself able to give an answer to his question with no hesitation but maybe with just small fears.
After each time I talk to him, I become more confident to walk in this road till the end. He is my power supplier and the one who is pushing me forward.There is a sense inside me that keeps telling me that I found him, but well, in fact, he found me first
The power of true love can make miracles, and the true love is an apportunity I was given...
So, I said yes:
I am ready to spend my lifetime with you ♥
I said yes,
For you to be my hero ♥
I said yes,
I will wear this ring forever ♥
And I said yes,
Here is my heart, you can take it and SAFELY keep it ♥♥♥
During my early childhood, It was my habit to kill frogs in our garden using my shoes, I know it was not fun,but it was my way to reflect my evilish childhood personallity *I guess* by treading frogs one after the other
Anyway, Many years later, and after I entered the pharmacy college, I learned that frog are animal being and it's the best creature we can use in physiology lab. to experience sience. I cut out their head by scissors, and I even dissected their body, I saw their smallest anatomical parts, and I became familiar with their smell and the touch of their skin!!!
What is the interest of frogs??
Today, a microscopic frog creeped it's way into our house.
-ثم ماذا ؟؟
Sometimes, you wished that fairy tales are real stories. you wished that by kissing this frog, you'll live the happily ever after !!
Sometimes, things goes unexpectedly to be more complicated, it's not that complicated that it can't be solved, but it's complicated enough to envy the heroic princess from story for being given the easier way to get her prince and to live the happily ever after.
well, today was one of these times .
________________________________ 10th of July Happy birthday to You
Finally and after a very hard studying year, I finished my exams!!
Yes, I finish my third stage in Pharmacy College.
Yes, I won't live the nightmare of having block memory information during the exam anymore! * At least for the next 3 months*
Yes, I won't lie on the floor, begging Allah for miracle to end this day and I am entirely intact!
Yes, I will sleep as much as I want without paying attention to my stupid, annoying, and creepy clock alarm!
Yes, I will watch the TV, and I will go for shopping and I will enjoy my holiday as much as I could.
Yes, I will write here more often, and yes….
-Yes what??
Yes, I PASSED THE EXAMS
Congrats, congrats, many congrats to me!!!
P.S: I don't have any inspiration to write a post. I am little tired right now, so I just write this little few words to keep my promise in writing post soooooon.
*I had a pharmacology exam in the day of my birthday, and I did extremely bad in it!!! Except that,I had nice day with the family and I received nice and precious watch from my parents beside many speciall gifts from my dearest friends.
* I receive nearly 28 SMS greeting messages and many call from friends and relatives. I appreciate that they remember me inspite of the examinations panic.
But in the other hand:
I think no matter how much you mean to other, they might still forget your birthday and disappoint your expectations !!!!!
*I will have pharmaceutical examination next monday, and inspite the fact that I will finish this horrble exam days, but This make me more closer from being alone whith no sister and that's exactly what I meant in last post in not being ready for holiday ( I am not ready to say good bye to my sister).
P.S: thanks in advance for any greetings I will get from my blog followers.
Hello readers,I was absence for two month !! well during this:
I took my Mid-Course examination and I did well in most of them.
the less mark I got was in Pharmaceutical (56/100), which is a subject I like, and I don't really think that I have a problem with it, but it seems that it has one with me, I always get low mark in this subject !! Never know where the defect is!!
Well, to be more precise; I became an aunt just a day before my exam.
It's a girl, and we named her "Marwa" and she is so pretty.
My sister and her children came and stayed in our house for 2 week since my brother in law was in India. They were a big source of noisiness, but in the other hand, they made the days of exams less depress for me.
I love my nieces and nephews so much, and it's the aunt's nature to show her love, but the problem I faced with that is my nephew "Ayman" 4 years old.
He went to my mother and said: “when I'll grow up, will you let me marry aunt Hadia??"
That's funny; I never thought in his age, one will do plans for future, especially that kind of plans! I really didn't know how to deal with him after that, his mother tried to explain the issue to him and how wrong is it to marry me. she was more likely following up my behavior and telling me not to be kind with him, not hugging him, and not play with his feeling, !!! Ok, Ok
that was so easy after my parents left to Amman for 10 days and my sister and her followers (children) stayed with us.
At that time, I was not taking exams and I felt responsible of this house and so I was more like recording machine, yielding at the children all the time (DONT DO THAT!!) Well, they are not natural children, they are hyperactive monsters.
I cought Anas once attacking Marwa while she was asleep, You should never trust child's innocence.
I make use of my sister residence with us . She helps me in studying pharmacology; she was really doing great in taking care of us and cooking (a horrible food) for us. And she was really more like a super woman. But Ayman was still consist on his opinion that mothers can't be a super hero بطله خارقه because they are mothers( the exact same reason that make me more convince of her being a super woman).
Now I am preparing for Exams: D *As usual*, it’s my final examinations,they will start on the third of June and ended on 21th. I need more than hard studying, need more than luck, need more than prayers.... I need Allah.
I am passing through a difficult circumstances in this critical time. As usual, all the difficulties come as additive to the exams. I really should have adaptation to this !!
I am eager to finish my third year in college, but in the other hand, I am not ready for the holiday.
well it’s complicated ;)
My sister is going to get marry and we are leaving for turkey for few weeks and there might be a life decision to make, I'll talk about that later. ….. Well it’s all about time
The situation in Mosul is fantastic!! Indescribable in every single way.
The Christian students stopped attending their college a week ago. I don’t know which mechanism vanish them all that rapid!! Oh, yes I remember; it’s called killing and shedding blood mechanism!.Sometimes, in order to survive, you have to leave and so they left! As hard as it sound and as simple as this.
I sent my friend (Christian friend) a message to ask about how she is doing, she only asked me to pray for them. She didn’t told me where she is now, she didn’t tell anybody either but I guess she is somewhere in the north of Iraq (where situation is calmer there).
In my college, we have many students from other Iraqi cities, those probably live in student dominate and those as well stopped attending the college yesterday because the mangers of this house asked them to leave before the election that will be in the 8th of this month.
Me and other collegue didn’t go to college as well (kind of support) beside; the situation is not supporting us to do this either! :D
I am above 18 old *Old news!* and so I will have to particibate in this election *confusing news*
Simply: in this right moment, I am totally ignorant of what is the name ofIraqi president! And what hia assistants' names! I am totally ignorant in everything about politics and every thing that is going far from my eyes. I simply don’t have interest to know, no ability to bear another shock and to hear another news. I closed my ears and my eyes from knowing any news a long time ago. I only know that my country’s name is Iraq and we are ALL iraqi. But هذه البلاد لم تعد كبلادي !!
Rambling about my hoppy of drawing:
Drawing is a major solution for me to relax after a hard day. I draw using oil colour or using the ordinary pencil. my psychotic condition really get better after a period of doing this.
This year I will participate in a kind of competition. I am not looking to win as much as I love to be apart of this. I know I won't win ; I am not that good in drawing, beside, my drawing is naive !! I didn't have any drawing lessons ever. My drawing result from willing and not from skills.
But, I am really looking for the day when I will win in such competition. maybe next year inshallah.
Rambiling about my result in Exams
I always find my way to trouble no one but myself, working and giving my best and then when things don’t work out; I blame myself, hate myself and punish myself.
I gave my 100% in studying, and yes I passed *expected* but not like a hero! The thing that puzzles me is that I really think that I am an intelligent, I don’t know if it is the exam circumstances that freak me out or there is a problem on my mental thinking !!
I feel sorry for myself about that, But I can't help it. and No body else can !
I don't know from where to start but I have been reading "the secret" so I will make a big jump over many things that happened (things that are a big source of negative thinking) .
I finally finished my 5th course in pharmacy college, I am now in the middle of the road, having only 5 courses left and being a real pharmacist *I hope*.
This course was so hard for me. I was really feeling unstable emotionally, psychology, and scholastically.*if there is such a word!?!??!!*.
I missed my cousin engagement party, many weddings and many happy events because I was studying for exam!! Well, I am doing exams more than doing anything else!!!.
Today, I found out that my Arabic tongue is getting worse!! Mom suggested it's due to studying in English, while my sister commented that I am not talking and I am not making a use of my Arabic!! Both not make a sense for me.
You can explain my absence from blog to being busy with school, but I even stopped writing in my diary!! I think there are many things that writing about them will not help you, and it's better to forget them and goes on like nothing had happened!! I know you are not understanding what I am talking about but neither do I *huhhh*
I did a Seminar in my class, in front of 100 of my collogues, and the Prof said to me "you was very very very good" ^__^ I was so scared and so eager in the same times. I was thinking of not wearing my contact lences in order to alleviate my stress threshold, but I did. And I didn't see anything anyway!!! *LOL*
I am the only student who did a seminar and who was not from the top 10 in the class, and that's make me feel proud of myself especially that I was better than few of them. * At least, that what I have been told!!* And will love to believe this :)
