Thursday, September 27, 2007

Hidden tears

I admit and acknowledge that my dreams are dreams.

And my ambition is an ambition

And my destiny is a destiny

And my faith is my faith.

And my soul is a soul

But what I can’t admit and can’t understand

Why my life is not mine.

I feel like someone being led, like some one being controlled.

like someone stifly his voice and hide his tears...

And keep pretenting he is fine and wish invisibly that he will be

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Scattered words

Hope came yesterday and I don’t know why it came.

Did it come to say good bye? Or did it come to say I am satisfy?

I am really can’t guess why!

Scattered words

Hundreds and hundreds miles were separated us from the edge.

Plans, dreams and successful were the fence of our age.

Days came and passed away, we were in the top of the stage.

But sorry to tell you my friend, now my heart is full of rage.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Life is difficult.. life is hard

Another morning and another day, I woke up and said to myself over again for the third time in that week “yesterday I’ll start my examinations”.

Scare, yes I was so scared that they will postpone the exam again and I was feeling uncomfortable and unsettle.

I heard in the news that there is a curfew in Basra and I expect that they will postponed the exam, so I didn’t read Arabic till 4 pm when I was somehow overcome to my last disappointment .

Finally, a new day had come… a very precious and wanted day had come. It’s the day of our first examination.

I was nervous in the morning before I went to my school and I was still can’t believe that I’ll really do the exam. Till the last second before the Exam started, I had confidence that the ministry of education will announced for another surprise.

Anyway, I took the Arabic exam and I did well. The other examinations passed smoothly and I finished my examination on the third of July.

I was so happy that I am in the holiday, the holiday that I was waiting for along long times. But I was sad that I missed my cousin’s engagement.

Anyway, I did one from the harder accomplishment on my life. I finish the high school. I am from now a fresh woman.

After a couple of weeks I went to Syria to see my uncle and aunt. My uncle left Iraq since 2004 and we didn’t see him since then. So it was so nice to see him and see my new cousin.

We spent good and happy times in Syria and after 15 days of having a peaceful and quite life we turn back to our Home (Iraq). So sad and so glad to return back to Iraq.

In our way to Iraq we had a little accident, the driver was making a call while he was driving the car, A child was standing in the middle of the road and the driver didn’t see him. My uncle was sitting beside the driver and he was half sleep but he saw the child.

“ look ahead” that’s what I heard before the car went right and left and then right and left and then we knock something and they the car continued running UN straightly. After a minutes which really seems like a hours, the car stopped and we were all shock, looking to each others with our full open eyes. Thanks Allah the child was still a live, so we took him with us in the car to the nearest hospital and then we had to change the car because the driver staid with the boy in the hospital. The car that transported us to Iraq was so old. It had no cooler. So we were dying for 10 hours. The accident was a welcome message from our country.

After a week we reached our house “ joking”

After a week I received my mark. It was a good mark but not the marks I was expecting nor the mark I deserved but it still good.

I get the average 94.4 but I have an extra special addition for taking French language make my average 97.6.

This Mark enable me to go to any college I want.

What college I planning to go? That’s what you’ll know in the next post

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Life is difficult

Hi all,

In the 11 of June we have only one day separated us from the first day of examination.

I woke up in the morning and the smile was drawn on my face because finally I was going to have an exam after all that studying and studying. I took my breakfast with my father and I remember very well that he told me “the exams will never end if you won’t start them”

At about 12 AM, there was only 15 hours left to start.

My mobile rang and there was one new message. It was from my cousin and he said that the exam of tomorrow has been postponed.

I didn’t believe that, I thought that he was joking and he was playing with me.

How could they postpone the exams!!

It’s not a game. All Iraqi students in their last year of Hieght School are going to take the Islam Exam the day after that day.

To believe or not to believe is not our options because it did happen and the exam was really postpone till the first of July. News came that the questions were leaked and they have to change them.

So it was really a game.

I rushed upstairs and take a bath and tried to feel better after hearing that news. Anyway, after two hours I began to study Arabic because I have an Arabic exam two days after.

In the day before the exam the smile turn back in my face. And I finished my study before dinner. And when I sat down at the table I told my family that I am a little scared and I only ate two bites before my mother’s mobile rang and she go and talk to someone and then came back to the kitchen with a rather long face and when I saw her My heart began to throb hardly and then she said “ HNK” and I said No..No...Not again and she said “Yes” and I crash into tears and I cries so hardly that all the family around the table looked at me feeling so sorry for the bad looking I was because my exam was postponed again. My sister was really feeling worried about me and she didn’t stop asking my father to do something for me. After that my father gave me valume and I go to bed after along times of crying and when I woke up in the morning I looked at myself in the mirror and my eyes was swallowed and looked red.

This postponed was because there was a curfew in Baghdad in the day of our real exam.

Any way… that’s too did passed

to be continue