Thursday, December 15, 2005

Just talking

In this moments I am a little optimistic as un usually, I was reading my sister's blog Najma
who wrote a lovely post about my niece Aya and that's make me feel happy because Aya make me happy always.

we stopped going to school from 2 days and that helped us to have a rest in our house, watching TV, listing to the music and doing the things that the normal people do.
Today I woke up at 9:30 .Aya waked before me and all the family except Najma who always late.
I took my breakfast and go to study Biology. I have biology exam next Sunday, physics exam nest Monday, mathematics exam next Tuesday. Biology exam is our exam number 7 and so as mathematics exam. But physic exam is our sixth exam.

well, you can say we went to school for getting exams, teachers in our school love to test the student. But that make us tired, I don't get enough sleep nor enough time with my family.
some teachers feel how much we were tired but they didn't do anything, they sat over there telling us how much we look tired as some one in the age of sixty and telling us about their high school and how their teachers were treated them " we were ... We were..... We were" they don't get it that our times is not like their times It's seem that they still living in the past.
Any way I didn't like school how can I like it now?

I discovered that I am a strong girl, yesterday something fell behind our big bookcase, anyway I tried to push it and get the thing. well, I did that but I couldn't push the bookcase again and placed it to it's usuall place. Anyway, today my mother asked my father to do that instead of me, she told him about the story and he gazed at her and said" hnk pushed it?" she answered yes, he said" alone?", he turened to me and said " you push it alone?"
I said "yes dady "
he said " how could you?"
I said " I am your girl" :)

After two days It's will my mam's birthday, I didn't buy a gift for her because of the curfew but I will try to cook some sweets for my great mam.

See you soon I hope and till that time
Good bye

Sunday, November 27, 2005

I survived till this moment

Yes, I am a live.
I am writing,In case you thought you will not have to read my blog anymore, not hear about my un normal life and not be aware of the bad, terrible and un acceptable situation. I am back

well, Our life is like a ball And you are the player that led the ball into the way you chose.
last 30 days I was feeling pessimistic,bad, angry and afraid. there are somethings around me that might make me a braver day after day. explosions and bombing cars that I used to and not be afraid of them anymore.
But there are another things I am afraid of, somethings you don't know.

Today I am better than any day before I am laughing and smiling for the sillier things. I get my mark in french examination and I get 42-60 *bad mark* but when I saw my mark I began to laugh. he he
In usuall life If I get 90 I cry. But I think there's something in the air today.
there are always something in the air like hydrogen, nitrogen but In Iraq there are also sadnogen and crynogen and many many gases.
Ok I know I am silly today, I always said words bigger than me. but I am really feeling bad this month, I just want to shout at loud as I can, I want to smash the ball I am in And I want to stop writing this post.
I said that I will write a post before I lost my mind.
I did it..
without calling the tear into my face...
And I spent half an hour writing this podst but the electrisity go to it's home and I waited for a while till the generator turn on so I continued writing the post.
what a huge post I wrote.

Il faut prendre une risque


Saturday, October 22, 2005

I reseive a several question from Najma.this questions she reseive them from another blogger and she sent me a copy and I will answer them and send a copy to another blogger and so on>
so this is my answers:

Seven things I plan to do:
1-Read Arabian night stories.
2-start anew blog in Arabic.
3- work on my english language.
4-try to write a book about my life.
5- memorize Al Quraan.
6- fast every monady and thursday .
7- returs painting and writing poem.

Seven things I can do:
1- spend 10 hours crying
2- spend all the day cooking in the kitchen.
3- pretend to be listen to Najma's daily story.
4- think of 5 different things by momrnt.
5- spend 7 days without internet conection.
6-spend an hours imaginating.
7-eat a peace of food that entered Aya's mouth before I ate it.

Seven things I can't do:
1- spend a day without thinking about Iraqi people life.
2- believe America.
3- decided what I do want to be in the future.
4- go out side home alone.
5- go with my family out side home at 11 am.
6- don't say " Oh my God" when I see Aya.
7- stop eating.

Seven things I say most often:
2-Najma.. wake up!!
3-I hate school.
4-Mom,this is the first time you cook a tasty food like this.
5-Al-salam alykum
6-sorry, do you forgive me? are you angry? ( every times my parents cried to me).
7-I miss Aya.

Seven people I want to pass this tag to:
1- maas
2- David
3- R

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Al salam alykum:
Last night I slept like a baby because I don't have school today and I was not worried a bout my homework and my exam.

yesterday my friend and I decided to not go to school today because :
1- we didn't know how bad the situdation will be today.
2- We don't have an exam today.
So from this hour till monday I will not see the light of the moon. It's not hard for me anymore. I used to be in house 24 hours by day. Some times I began to think about my life and how much it's change such as : in the past my dad came back from his clinic at 10:00 am. but now he come back from his clinic at 7:30 at most. when he was came back home we were waited him to go out and enjoy our night. But now after 8:00 Am you can't hear the sound of feet.
It's something I can't believe it and when I think of it I start laughing, a few days ago I was talking to my mam about this subject and laughed like crazy.
My sister whispered to my mother and ask her about what is going on. they both looked fear that something happened to my mind.
you need to laugh sometimes unless it's hard to.

I am not sad right now but I am not happy too.
I am not pessimistic, I am not optimists and I am not satisfied.
I don't feel anything and I don't expect anything either.

I want to do something I don't know what it is.
such to talk to some one..
so how are you?
what is going on with you?
ok ok ok ok I don't mind to write ok 100 times
so I will not.
ok? bye

Friday, September 23, 2005

اكتب في مدونتي هذه باللغة الانكليزية ظنا واعتقادا مني ان كلمتي ستُسَمع في العالم الغربي ويكون لها صداها. ولكني كنت مخطئة. ولماذا كنت مخطئة ؟ هذا هو السؤال المطلوب...
عندما تكتب عن حادث تعرض له احد الاقارب من قبل القوات الامريكية و تكشف فظاعت العمل الذي ارتكبوه وهو صدمهم لسيارته وهو داخلها كانت ردة الفعل الوحيدة من قبل المعتدين انهم اشاروا له بايديهم يعني " باي باي"
عند كتبك للموضوع يرد عليك احد المعلقين فيقول لك ان تاشير ايديهم يعني انهم يعتذرون عن ذلك وهذا شيء متداول في امريكما ان التاشير باليد يعني انه اسف.

وعندما تكتب عن الاسلام انه دين التسامح يظهر لك احد المعلقين انه دين الارهاب
وعندما تكتب عن الافعال الشنيعة التي يرتكبها الامريكان في العراق يقولون لك انهم اتوا من اجل مصلحتكم ويتلون السطور بكلامهم الساخر didn't you got it that they come for you, for helping you!
وعندها يذكرون لك انهم قظوا اتعس ايام حياتهم في 11 من سبتمبر حيث انهار برج في امريكا.
انهار برج في امريكا و انهار بلد كامل وهو العراق . اي فظاعة هذه التي عاشوها؟؟؟
مئة والف مئة برج لايعدل بلد كامل... ان كان لدى العرب شيء من الارهاب فان امريكا هي مصدر الارهاب.
بالفعل سأمت كلامهم الفاضي وحججهم الواهية . فعندما ذكرتُ لهم ان حارس المدرسة قد قتل برصاصات الامريكان اجابوني انه عليَ التاكد من هذا الكلام فلربما المصدر الذي سمعت منه الخبر غير صحيح لانه وحسب ما قالوا انه يوجد جماعة تروج كلام عن الامريكان غير صحيح.
وعندما ذُكِرَ لديهم ان الامريكان قد اطلقوا النار على مرأة حامل تحججوا وقالوا انهم اعتقدوا انها تخفي قنبلة تحت ردائها ولم يتوقعوا ان تكون حامل.
وعندما اصيب احد المارة بطلق من قبلهم حين ادخل يده في جيبه كانت الحجة انهم اعتقدوا انه كان سيرفع السلاح في وجههم.
وعندما قلنا ان ما يبعثه الله لهم من اعاصير هي عقاب لهم اجابوا بنعم ان الله يعاقبهم لانهم سحبوا القوات اليهودية من قطاع غزة.
عندما رفع الطفل الفلسطيني حجارة في وجه اليهود اطلقوا عليه اسم الارهابي. وعندما رفعوا اسلحتهم و ادخلوا دباباتهم الى عقر دارنا كانوا دعاة للسلام.
أيُ كلامٍ هذا... ايُ حجج... ايُ اعذار

عارٌ على زمَنِ الحظارةِ ايٌ عار
هل صار ترويعُ الشعوبِ وسامَ عزٍ وافتخار؟
هل صار قتلُ الابرياءِ شعار مجدٍ وانتصار؟

اخر ما لدي لاقوله
اللهم فاشهد

Monday, September 05, 2005



After I visited Syria and Jordan and saw how the people out of Iraq live, I can't understand why people like you passed times reading my blog while they could do many many things to enjoy themselves.
After whatever I saw, I knew that you deserve a big Hi in the beginnings of the post.
It's really mean to me that you are reading these words.

Do you know what the cute funny things that mum said when we went to one of Syria's city and saw how much the natures there are so beautiful? She said "they cheated Bush by setting up the war on Iraq"

The strange things there in Syria, that you can see women wear a little peace of clothes And there were another women near by them don't show anything from their bodies. They walked side by side and even together.

someday We were in a shop and we heard a loud sound so we disturbed. The owner of the shop asked " you are Iraqi, ha?"
Poor people like us who get used to hear the sounds of bombs and explosions all the daylong can't habituate themselves to the normal sound.

Really strange how much our countries are close but they are too different. There is no safe word in our life dictionary in Iraq. But in Syria if you put your bag somewhere on the street, you will find it in the same place after a week.

Safety and peace are the most important things to me. So let me feel them!
My Mum said that she didn't saw me laugh and smile like I did in Syria.that's make me think of my past life and how was it!

Every day, from the 15 days we spend them out of Iraq we didn't came back to the hotel unless we bought a gift for Aya. You know how much we love this baby and how much it's mean to us.
I feel sorry for her that we didn't celebrate her first birthdayBut because my grandfather is fine now, that's ok for me.

We bought babies stories for Aya. Every days I should read one for her I make her see the pictures and I say this is cat and this is dog and so on and I say the cat said "meow meow" and the bee said "bezzzzzzzz" And she really like what I did, and she laugh at that and smiled and her 4 teeth appeared and make me feel a good feeling. And for keeping this smile in her face I have to re-read the story again and again and again till this smile don't mean to me so, I quit and stop reading.
Some times I wish the stories didn't discovered, and on the other hand, I thanked God there are something called story in this planet.
It's strange how much Aya kisses the story all the day and she refuse to give us a kiss.
Story..Story it's her only love.

Good bye now

Thursday, September 01, 2005

I 'm back

hi all,
I was in Syria for about 12 days and then I went to Amaanfor two days only and I returned back to Iraq before three days.
I couldn't write last days because I was too busy.

First of all, when we were waiting in one of the check-point I ran towards my dad, one of American dog bark I stopped running but I falled on the ground and I twistted my ankle. My ankle swelled and became blow, my trousers tore and I looked awful. The American soldiers felt sorry for me so they bandage my ankle. Anyway It was the first good thing I saw that American soldiers do.

As I said I went to Syria.Syria is a beautiful Arabian country. I didn’t see a beautiful country like it before. I didn’t visit any country before but it was enough for me to see it. I also dreem of living on it. Syria’s people are so kind and cute, I f you talk to one of them you can feel in love and you just want to hug this persone.It's a nice country and it have a nice people too.
I advice you to visited it some day.

Before two days my mom called her parents and my grand ma told her that my grand father is sick so my mother go suddenly to Baghdad to look after him and see him. And she call us today and said that he is getting better and he is fine .

Here is some picture we took it when we were in Syria:

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Readers who are interested:
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Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Me again

this post was written yesterday
Hi all,
I know I am late for writing this post and many of you thought that I will stop posting. Well, I was too close from that but here I am again.
My mother told me not to write a bout politics. She told me to write about my normall life, But I don't live a normall life so how could I follow her advise?

Today I went out of house. I reach some area that I didn't see it from more than a year. I passed bridges *lol* Yes I did. I should celebrate because of that.

Me and my sister went to take Aya to the kindergarten for the first time in her life. We went to the kindergarten where there were a lot of children and we left Aya in one of the room with a bout 8 children and went out from the room. All the children were crying there including me and my sister but we were crying without tears. We could hear the sound of crying in the next room where we sat with the monitor of kindergarten. for sure there were many crying sound.
My sister was more relax than me because she couldn't recognize her daughter's voice while I could and I was sure that the baby who have this hight hurting voice was Aya.

Me and my sister were looking to each others eyes with a fear faces. We waited an hour in the monitor room and then we went and take Aya from that small, fear, babies room. when we entered the room Aya was calm. her eye loked smaller because she cried alot.when she saw her mother she began to cry loudly and her face looked like tomato. she kept crying all the Time we spent going to the home. This day was hard for me and for Aya and her mother but it was an experiment. So tommorow Aya will go again to the kindergarden but with out us . She will be lonely with all these babies. Aya is the youngest baby there.

in the evining we went to my uncle's house, His daughters came from baghdad and we went to see her and her beautiful daughter who is in the same age of Aya but Aya is older than her in 5 days.
We spent there a good time and after that we bought icecream and return back to our home .
I don't know what I am feeling now. But it's is a good feeling that I don't test it from along time.

hummm I taste that my country is still beautifull in spite of every things happened to it.


Sunday, July 24, 2005

days of my life (up date)

Ok, listen to this story, I was so happy and I decided to write a nice post. But unfortunately before I save my post the computer Stop working like someone freeze.

And now I am angry.
Don’t teach me how to save the post and how to use control+c and control +v because I know this information but I am lazy to do it.
So lazy
So? I will try to remember what I write and rewrite it again.
The post was like this one:
I am happy, do you want to know why.
Because khalid is return back to his home. And because I went out of house last Friday and visited my uncle's house to congratulate them about my cousine graduation. All the family were there: my uncles and aunts, their children and their grand children.
There were four babies their ( Aya and medo are 11 months old, Sama and Nora are 1,5 years old). All of them were cute and have a nice looking.
Noor is an evil girl. From the first moment she saw Sama she went to her and pushes her, she is the third child and the two children before her are both boys. After she pushed Sama,Nora's mother took her a way from Sama and Nora began to cry:)

After that Medo and Aya were playing in the ground, Nora came to them and tried to attack them in every possible ways. All the moms took their child away from each other’s.

The funny things that happened there that my mother put her food in her chair and went to take Aya from dad to feed her, she took Aya and then she sat in her chair where she put her dish, wher her food. I shout Maam ! And she said in a cold voice: what?
OH my God. Her clothes became terrible with all that food. " Heh..heh"

As you know last week Raghda visited us for tow days. She slept with me in the same room. I spent good time with her. Especially at the night when we went to sleep and talk with each other about every thing. I can talk with Raghda about things that I couldn't't talk about it with Najma.

Raghda fell in love with my bear toy. She slept with it and she took pictures with it. She really likes it. I hope she enjoy her visit to us.

the telephone conection between Mosul and Baghdad is cut from 6 days and that is not a good news to hear but we have internet and we can contact with my relatives there by it.

Ok I have another funny cartoon, I hope you like it

see you soon
with more family news

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I don't know what to say

I know I didn't post from long long days.
before a week I wrote a long post and really nice one. I was going to publish it in the next day.

unfortunately the first thing I did in the next day was to visit Raed blog which I don't visit it much. I read about what happened to khalid and sat all the day sad and bored "that all what I need to complete my perfect day"

My old sister advice me to stop blogging. what happened to khalid is not a game. We should do something for him, He is one from An Iraqi blogger. NOW he is in the Jail.

Why he is there?
what is he doing there?
How is he?

I don't know.
go back to our subject: stop bloging or not?
I was thinking about that And I wrote a post talking about this freedom we have.I wrote that I don't need it. If it's the same freedom that mad khalid write what he was thinking of and it is the same freedom that entered him the jail. So I don't need this freedom
Take it!

Raghda my cousin came from Baghdad yesterday and she will leave tomorrow. We have a good time with her I will talk a bout that in the next post If I will continue my blog.

Pray for all of us

heh... hehe.. heh

PS:If you wonder where is the cartoon, I deleted it, because Raghda (Afandee) don't like it :)

Saturday, July 09, 2005

just talking

Good morning ... Good evening .... Good night

"I like to hear these phrases because they have the word "good" in them, and because my life here doesn't have much "good" in it otherwise..... so, here we go with my life news."

"2 days ago" I was washing my face using neutrogena deep clean and
some of it entered my eye accidentally.I washed it in water and continued my life as usual.

in the morning, I woke up and went to wash my face, and looked in the mirror and saw that my right eye was puffed up. And, it began to itch me, and it has been itching me since. *Oh my eyes, how much I want to scratch you*.

Anyway, my dad gave me "ultradex" sterile ophthalmic solution to put in my eye. Today, when I woke up, my eye was worse than yesterday, but now it is the same as it was yesterday.

besides that Aya fell on the ground while she was trying to climb the table and the table fell on her face and her nose began to bleed so as her mother called in the middle of the night, and she was obviously distressed, and her voice sounded like she was crying. Well, I began to cry when I heard that. My sister was worried that Aya would need to get stitches in her nose, but thanks to Allah she is fine and she didn't need that.
So, now Aya has a red nose like a clown.The only thing she needs is
to put on a red dress and she will look elegant.

Yesterday my father's friend invited us to the lunch in his house.
Najma and I didn't want to go there. My father's friend has 8 children.And Najma and I do not get along with them so my father and my mother go
there alone and have good time as I think.

We were alone me and Najme at lunch time. As usual, I cooked the lunch and she ate it.
My sister MY nice sister my helpful sister (Najma) discovered after along time
that she didn't do house work lately so she went and washed the dishes by her own free will. Didn't I tell you she likes to help other people?

Let's talk about my nice sister. I don't know what's been happening to her these last few days. that night when we went to sleep, she told me she'll jump out the window. In this state, she wanted to help me.

I told her I will jump with you, so she changed her mind. I think she doesn't like company.

Don't worry we are muslim ( Muslim people don't commit suicide,suicide is
not an acceptable in our religion )

well well, I think I am not doing well. I couldn't be fun.

Something happened (knock on the table " it's an imitation for us to
knock the table so no one will envy you" ) I have a good dream last
night *STRANGE, did any of you have a nightmare last night? Maybe our dreams were exchanged*

Ok, see you soon.
have a good week end

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

3 Minutes and you will finish read this (this post written two days ago)

Hi all,
Guess what, We went out house finally. We spent a good time in my uncle's house where all the family was there. (My uncles and their children and their grand children)
This is normal in Iraq.
The people where you live didn't meet their relatives as much as we do. It's normal to you if your sons moved into another house before he got married. But to us it's something not happened. The sons live with their parents before marriage and after the marriage some of them move to another house and the rest stay with their parents. The sons and daughters stay visits their parents at least one times in the week.

My mother's holiday began yesterday. So I will be contact with you more than before (because mama will take care of Aya and other things.
Aya controlled to us, she is so smart and so cute and so active too. I fight with her yesterday (but I was the right person ) after that she looked angry and she didn't look at my face again till I go and entreated her to forgive me I hug her and play with her till the princes began to smile.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Just talking

I had written many posts, but I didn't have courage to publish it, I don't know why.
I didn't go out of house since 9 days ago thus I have no new news.

"Day after day the situation in Iraq get better " that's what one of the height rank military said. But the reality shows the opposite.
that let me remember what Najma said to me some day
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubts"

If it is geing better then why we don't have water and oil while we live in the country of oil. And we have two rivers Tigris and the Euphrates .

We are in the 3 rd year of the war. 3 years and the war didn't end.
SO when you want to help Iraqi people don't send your cousin and sons to Iraq to fight. Because they fight us not fight for us.

Did you forget the WMD?
Did you forget what happened in Abo Graib?
Did you forget what the humanity mean?
Did you forget what the human needs?

Don't bother, I also forget something but I forget
What the peace look like..
What the street look like..
What the sky in the night look like..
What my relatives look like..

Some times I just think if you see what my eyes saw, if you hear what my ears heard. you will be able to understand what I mean.

Some words from the world
Did you read what khalid wrote in his blog about me? read this
"I am pro God, I am pro life, I am pro humanity, I am pro truth, and when the American goverment choses to be against all that then damn it:I AM anti American-goverment"

And Najma write a great post You should read it also.

And at the end I want to share you this Joke
Are you pessimistic?
do you feel( Sad, poor and disturbed)?
congratulation you are iraqi 100%

Another Joke " who is iraqi?"
Iraqi is a human live in this world, hated by countries in this world, wronged by the media's world,disbuded in thoughts about this world, exploited by goverment's world and sad in his life in this world. well it's not look like joke in English, so I will write it in Arabic

تعريف العراقي: :كائن حي مكروه دوليا. مظلوم أعلاميا. مشتت ذهنيا. مثقف ماديا. مضطهد حكوميا. تعيس عمليا.منكوب يوميا


Saturday, June 25, 2005

It's Iraqis life, it's my life

Salaam all,
How are you people?

I didn't write from a while, so here is my news:
These days I was busy with Aya and house work (cleaning, washing and cooking) I help my mother preparing the lunch today, we made Kabab.
I cooked yesterday too, I cooked an Iraqi food called "Dolmah" I put its picture before and here is it again.

One of the reasons that prevented me from writing, was Aya, she come to our house in the day which is my turn in the computer, so I don't have enough time to write a post, but here I am today writing this post after my Mom take Aya to sleep and dad took Najma to her course of Arabic.
One of the people who work with my father in the same building, called before an hour and asked my father not to come to the clinic, he said there is a confrontation in the region around the clinic.
So my father will take my turn as I think, " well, I am sure" But no problem he is my great dad.

The day before yesterday I was too sad so I decided to go to my room and try to draw something. I did that, I draw a wonderful image as I think because Najma, NAJMA who never admit till today that the pictures I draw is nice, she did that now, she told me that it is beautiful *whew!*

Hot news: Now my sister come from the hospital and said, today there were a lot of patient with bullets injuries while they were inside their houses, yes inside their house.
Well I told you tha,t last week was full of danger. And I don't like to talk about that, so you can read about that in my father's blog Bad days
And for more information check Najma's blog.

I don't like to talk a bout that. When I write a bout the bad things that happened to Iraqi people, when I write about the bad situation I end my post and I am in a bad state more than I was.

Well, we have big problem in Mosul this week. The fuel is not available and it cost 25 times more than before from the black market. We don't bye it from the fuel station because it's too crowded and there is no hope to reach your turn before 10 hours, and after that 50% they will not get you fuel. That if you could wait till after 10 hours.
This is Mosul problem these days.

Baghdad have another problem, the people there don't have water,
Not even polluted water. And we are in summer and this is Baghdad. So asked Allah to help them.


Tuesday, June 21, 2005


Hi all,

Be optimistic, you are normal. I told you before about the stupid thing that I did which make me think that my mind is stop working. Here's another example, yesterday when I was preparing the table I putted two fork to each dish.
well, after last post I receive many E-mail who their sender told me the same example "I go to the room for something and when I reach the room I don't know why I am here"
All OF YOU SAME EXAMPLE......Come one, your minds are working.

I don't write from along times, and many things happened that don't help me to be happy not at all. I am not in a good mind to write about it. Well all what can I said that
Today is better than tomorrow

we were so near from being died this week. Especially my parents.
The people around me killed and kidnapped.
OH, Allah help us

Friday, June 17, 2005

What happened to my mind?

What happened to my mind? That was the first question
that came to my mind. And my mind is still asking
- what's happened to me?

Well, yesterday I spent 5 minutes looking at the teeth
brushes and wondering which one is mine. After that, I
took my mother's brush and started to brush my teeth with
it. At that time, I felt that it is not mine.

My mind asks itself this day the same question, what
happened to me? And when Najma my sister went to wash
the dishes that I put in the table, she saw the pizza
in the dish and under the water, so she came to me and
she seemed SO angry and asked me why I put the pizza
Did I do that? Am I the one who put the pizza under
the water? STRANGE

After that I asked myself, Am I really sixteen? Well,
I looked at the mirror and saw a face have pimples on
it. So yes, I am really sixteen.

Stop talking about my mind. My mind's work to think
and I am writing what I think so my mind always has
the priority of what I write.

Yesterday I went with a friend to see my other friend
mary. I had a good time there. From the minute I walked
through the door until I went out she wouldn't stop
forcing me to eat. In the beginning, she gave me a
lecture about how much I seem thin and how much that
does not help my health. After that she serve me ice
cream and after half an hour, a cake and cola and then
banana, apple and watermelon and then candy and
cookies. Oh, I ate so much!

After I came back home, I ate my lunch. I did not stop
eating last night. Well, I did not stop eating for the
last few days maybe because I do not feel comfortable.

We heard today that American soldiers imprisoned six
Iraqis women. And I heard from my sister who work in the
hospital that American soldiers took a 3 years old kid
to the hospital after they shot him. Not good news to
hear. If I will not talk about the bad things that are
happening in Iraq, I will not find any thing to talk
about and at that time I should probably shut up,
close the blog, and begin counting the days…


Wednesday, June 15, 2005

I am a blind, I can't see the truth

One month ago I wrote about the problem that bothers me, I see nightmare every night. I really hate what was happened to me till now, when I discovered that the real life that I live is a nightmare. The truth became clear, and the features began to appear. Sleep helps me not bother me. I was running from the truth, I can't agree with what happened because I can't confess that I lived a better life and spend beautiful times in sadam's time.
IN fact: I was hate sadam SO much, and now I don't hate him (And I don't like that) I don't feel anything towards him. He doesn't mean to me anything.

What I was thinking. Get what I want? Have the happy life which I dream? See a peace world?

Believe or not believe:
Last days, I, my sisters and mom were watching TV, my sister who is a doctor turned the TV into al Iraqia channel. What was there in Iraqia TV?

Why you cut a head of doctor gave you the medicine?

In the moment we read this we began to laugh. Well, bad news which you don't expect it always let you laugh.
Did they wait the people who killed the doctor to answer?
WHY? what a stupid question,did this people who killed the doctor ( cut their heads)recognize what they do?

I still can't believe what my eyes saw.

What should I feel towards:
Toward the people who killed the doctors?
Towards the soldiers who killed my relatives and my people every day by their arms?
Towards Saddam who break my heart?

What should I feel? What should I say? What should I do?
I don't know
I am a blind in the dark


Saturday, June 11, 2005

my blog

43.75 %

My weblog owns 43.75 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?

I did that before a year, and I get 12.5%
and now I get 43.75
very interesting

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Water !

Clear water, dirty water doesn't trouble it's not making a different. We drink both of them.
My uncle house's water has a small fish on it beside its color and its taste which we get use on them. But fish, It's another problem.

These weeks we heard about many people be poisoned by water. My father bought us this new Water cooler which have some layers clear the water. And here is its picture

Some day my teacher of biology told us to not drink the water because it's dirty.
But I am with some people who said we have immunity, we drink dirty water from many many years, but certainly it was not as bad as it is now.
We heard some news about killing some people and throw their bodies in the river. So maybe the water that we drink........ "You know" I can't say it.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

yes, I am blaming again

Bad electricity service that we have here in Iraq couldn't give us more than 4 hours in the day. In lucky days, we have 7 hours of electricity at the most level.

That pushed my dad to buy us a light that works on battery, so we can continue our homework after the generators turn off. Every one in the family has his own torch.
This my mother's:

my father's:

my and my sister's torches:

mine is the blue, my sister's is the red.

Well, I remember my father when he bought me this one. I was so happy (really happy). It is the most useful thing that you can spend your money on.

And this one with a fan too is kept it in the living room:

But that is not enough for the country which doesn't have electricity most of the time. So we have this one:

what we used before we bought this? Good question, this is what we used before:

And this is another picture of our suffering, Najma talked about it in her blog and said
This is the electricity traffic light, it's in the entrance of our home, just before the door... The green light is for" the electricity is on". The yellow is for "the neighborhood generator is on". The blue light is for "the neighbor's generator is on"... Each family has its way to know the kind of electricity they're having...Well, we have a traffic light.

Mosul family's blog and our new post" Moslawi News" on dad's blog.. Readers who are interested:
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Hi all,
today for the third time this week I went out home " not normal"
some day before when I didn't went out of home for along long days I looked out side and see the sky, I don't know what happened to me. It looks like this is the first time I see it, I just want to cry I felt strange feeling.

I have a problem here; every movement in the house, every thing happened I wrote it in my mind as a post in the blog. And that is bothering me a little.

I was surf in the internet and found some post I wrote it but not in English but in French check it
I tried to read it And I CANT UNDERSTOOD WHAT I SAID I am really bad in French that I couldn't understood what I (I) wrote. Now I understand why I got less mark in French NOW I GOT IT. Any way thanks "merci" for the people who translated my post into French.

Well what I have to say????
Today me and my father went together to take Najma from her friend's house and while we were in the road we didn't speak any thing. I said so? And dad said so? And NOBODY talk till I said: dad I was at home, so I don't have any thing to say but certainly you do? At that time dad said 10 word and then stop. And while we were in the road there were many helicopters above us. And after that there were a bout 6 tank cars in the road. So we stopped the car and waited with the other people who were there. And after some minutes "no long" they moved and so did we. We took Najma and came back home, that time Aya was going to her house so we said good bye to her. That's strange, we always saw Aya for example 5 hours and after that time when she went, we spent the time talking about her (what she did, what she said, what she ate, how she was). I asked my mother some day How we were living before Aya came to the life? and she said we were lived waiting Aya.

I am feeling greatful for you that you read my blog and as I read in one blog that I am writing in a strange way for you. well that's nice. I think if I find some one wite a blog in Arabic and he is not arabian and he couldn't write in understood way I will like to know him.
well, don't write an email telling me that my English is good because I know that :)

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Sunday, June 05, 2005

Hi all,
Thank you for your nice comment, I don't know what to say except thank you.
well, yesterday my uncle family and my sister family came to our house and we celebrate .
ME and my mother make a cake and other sweet and prepare sandwich for the dinner. My uncle's family gave me a watch. My sister gave me a T-shirt . And we took some pictures.

My friend came to my house in the same day of my birthday but unfortunately we were out of home. So I call her today and asked her to came any day she want. She told me that she will think of coming today. So I went and clean my room but at end she call and said I will not come today.
Aya was here today, she make me feel sick about what she she did. At end she is my niece and I should took care of her. She didn't walk yes, that's ok. I didn't walk till one year and two month old, while Najma walk in her 8 month old.
I saw that you like the picture ha???. So this is another one.
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Friday, June 03, 2005

I am sixteen

Hi all,
thank you for sweet comment and sweet E-mail about my Birthday. Surly I am happy because I have some friends like you and this is the great gift I have ever got. Well, I will celebrate tomorrow with my family and Aya :) because my mother is sick today and hope she will be fine tomorrow. I wanted to share you this picture when I was about 16 months old, Well now I am sixteen, I AM SIXTEEN " he he he"
I got my present it's a nice sport green T-shirt, I like it.
your sixteen age friend
hnk Posted by Hello Readers who are interested:
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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO " don't worry I am happy NOW

Hi all,

This week was happy, your prayers were useful to me. Well I want to tell you something but please don't laugh, I ate cherry for the first time in my life, Well there was no cherry in Iraq, and now it look like they begin to import It from out side.This is one of the positive things that happened after the war. Now we can choose from Iraqi oranges, Syrian oranges, Turkish oranges, and Egyptian oranges. And of course you will not choose Iraqi oranges because they are too small in comparison with others.

Now we are in summer, and summer's fruit began to appear. I like eating fruit especially watermelon after lunch *yummy*

Yesterday at 12:00 PM, I took my book and go to sleep I read till 1:00 AM, then I tried to sleep but I couldn't, the electricity turned off, I thought it was the reason of not sleeping, then the generators turn on so I said "oh finally I Will sleep". After along time I discovered that the electricity was not the reason, I look at the clock and it was 3:15 AM. WOW, I should be dreaming now!!. Then I remembered that I drank some Nescafe (instant coffe) and it was certainly the reason.

Guess what happened, our telephone fixed this afternoon, I called Mary "my friend" and talk with her. I asked her to visit me someday but she said that she told her father that she wants to visit me and he refused because of the bad things (explosion) that happened in our neighborhood *shock*. He doesn't think our house is a safe place for his daughter to visit. This feels weird to me, because this is the same neighborhood that I've lived in since I was born.

I am laughing right now, NOW somebody call, I hold the phone, I said Alo
_ Alo, who are you?
- Who are you?
- Well, I don't know what to say to you. Do you have any brother?
- NO, what do you want?
- well, I don't know what to say, my daughters said that one body call them and have this number I call and you hold the phone and It seem that you don't call us and you are not a boy.

It was strange. I understood him. some boys call girls just to annoy them.
isn't that the most stupid manners?
Well we are waiting Aya to come, It seem that she will not come it's 4:00 pm.
I notice that my mother bought my birthday's gift today, she was too worried when I entered her room and she was trying to push me out. Well she won. I love surprise I don't want to know what it is. so I will wait .......

your lovely friend,
hnk Readers who are interested:
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Monday, May 30, 2005

Hi and welcome,

I had a head ache now, I was playing with Daliah in the messenger word racer. I won and won and won then she began to win and I began to be a loser and I told her she should lose the game because I am bigger than her but she didn't listen to me and continue winning so I stop the game and go. She said she had to go because she didn't wash the dishes yet. Then I starting telling her how much work I did today I wash the dishes and clean the ground and make salad and prepare the food and fruit ......els
I work hard today by myself mam didn't ask me to clean the house but there was no electricity and I don't have anything else to do.

I began reading a Book, it's name "My life" By Ahmad Amin Who rose to leading role in Egypt's cultural life, is well know by his works tracing the story of Islam, from what he called is Dawn to height noon
that what the middle East journal Vol.9,no.1,London 1955 wrote about him
and the book "hayati" "my life"is the distringuished Cairo scholar and educator, is impressive in it's simplicity and sincerity.

I began read this book from two days and it look like I will finish it today. I found something useful spending my time on it.
Aya was here tomorrow tried to let her sleep and she was like a princes not wanted that, and I was like an evil servant who want her to sleep if she wanted that or not.she sleep and continue sleeping most of the times then me and Najma decided to wake her, we wanted to see her. After that she wake and she was so quite and good manners too.Oh oh Aya I didn't live baby as much as I loved her.

I need to nap now, I know I don't talk a lot but I will continue this post later

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Days come.. Days go

After say hello and hi, and asking about your health and news. I will start write my post.

Yesterday we went out of home for the first time in this week.
We visit my uncle who we didn't see him from about month .After that we went to bought the dinner, we went to three shops all of them were closed. At the end we bought (لحم بعجين) it's something like pizza but it's not pizza and we get back home at 8 o'clock in the evening CAN YOU BELIEVE That this is the first time we did that, there were a little number of cars which were in the street.

Talking about electricity, last post I didn't told you that in sadam's time we didn't have electricity too. Baghdad only was having electricity 24/24 hours but that's change after the war. All the cities became equal and all the cities have No electricity most of the day.

When I was a little girl I asked my mother is there any country has electricity all the day? I couldn't imagine that! How could they have electricity all the time while we have it only 4-7 hours? And many days we didn't have electricity at all. Sometimes when I remember that and remember the thought which came to my mind when I was a kid I feel sorry about my self.

Today I saw in the TV one program called (yallah shabab) they were in us in one of the university in California, they asked the people there about the Iraqi war and what they think about Islam and did they want to learn Arabic? One of the girls there answered really nice, she said "I don't like sending our sons to Iraq to fight your sons and daughters ". The point is this war is between our governments and not between the peoples so we shouldn't hate every gather. At ends we are all from Adam.
So I want to say: I don't hate you us people.

David (my friend) posts nice pictures he took them when he went to the Zoo. I write him a letter told him I didn't go to the Zoo before. Then he replies he didn't go to the zoo till age of 25 and said you have 10 years to visit it. BUT you don't see my friend!! Iraq didn't have a zoo. It have some small place, people put a small cartoon at it and write the zoo. people who visit it said this zoo have only a dogs, cats,hourse,donky, bears, Camels and other animals which we saw them in our ways going to the school and to the work. (What an arrange country that I live in!!!!!)

Yesterday we bought a milk powder, it costs 1350 dinar, while before it was only 350 dinar, may be the salaries increment after the war but beside that the stuffs became cost more that it was. I know 1350 dinar is cheap but 350 are cheaper.

Before the war If anyone wanted ice cream and it was 12 o'clock at the night, The only thing we did is to go and ride the car and bought ice cream. Every Friday We went out of home and having our dinner outside and every Thursday we meet all my aunt and uncle and We were called this day "the meeting day" The weddings party was starting at night while now there is two option: not do the wedding party or do it between 4 and 7 at least.
Some times I just want to be a kid again and live that days before the war became, but it's just a dream. But I hope I will live and spent times nicer and beautiful than these days.


Thursday, May 26, 2005

Days of my holiday

Salaam all,

I am ok. And I am getting better because of the nice people who stand with me.
this is the the first time, I open my E-mail and found there are 7 new messages. Most of the day before, when I opened the inbox I didn't get any new messages so zero new messages was the only word I could read.

you know I am in the holiday now, other student who didn't get E3faa finish their examination today. I am spending the holiday on the internet. One day for me (my turn) and one day for Najma. On najma's turn in the computer Aya usually comes to our house,so I didn't feel on time pass. Most of days when Aya came I wake at 8 o'clock in the morning and tried to make her sleep and she is always did that before 9 o'clock. And she will wake up after 1 or 2 hours. At that time I go to the kitchen and boiled egg for her as her break fast, after that the fun times will begin. I try to make her have fun as possible We play some game which called here بح دي ( I should hide behind something and after a seconds I appear) maybe you think it silly but to Aya it's not. And it's really a popular game for children in Mosul. She also like to sit in her swing till she began to feel fatigue.

I also spend the time on television I watch : Gilmore Girls, Popular, friends, According to Jim,crubs, Frasier, 8 Simple Rules I like all of them.
I also spend time learning English as I said before. I had a programs which called Al-kafy and I began working at it and we will see.

Our telephone is not work from 4 week or more than that( so if you called me and no body answered, this is the reason) "kidding".the telephone, Half year it's work and the other it's not. And the electricity worse. We had a neighbor generators, and neighborhood generators, and the Electricity and sometimes we found our selves in the dark and heat. I am not talking about the time between 12 the morning and 12 at the night I am talking about the between them. Because the time between 12 at morning and 12 at night is 90% have no electricity.

God know what will happened in the next month, we are in May and feeling hot like this so what will happened in June and July. Note July have the most hot weather in Iraq.
that's all what I have today.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Today we had a visitor. My sister's friend came to our house to congratulation my sister for her new baby " Aya" .....What irony? Aya is now 9 MONTH old.
And they couldn't come till today because they were waiting the situation to get better and then they come, but they discovered that the situation is getting worse over the time. So the did their visit before her birthday.
I don't know why I want to say this but I will, MY English is somehow Bad and some people understand my post in a wrong way, remember when I remarked about American freedom in Iraq and said" freedom means do what you want, even it's wrong and should not do. You are free, kill what you want. Steal anybody you want and anything you like" some understood that this is what I believed and wanted, while I was reject it. I admit that I don't have a good way to explain my view of life and my bad English help the people who want to make me weaker and more sadness than I am . For example I don't know should I use my OLD sister or my BIG sister or my Large sister" It is the same to me :( "
well,I can say I am only 15 years old ( and that will change after only one week, I will be 16 so this argument will not use anymore ) ..... I look tired today, I am thinking to say something and say something else (another word).
I decided to make a change to my blog. I see the number of the visitor is going to less over time. Before they were 200+ . And now it's under 100. And today I noticed they are only 19 till now.
I am excuse them. All the time I am complain and write some stupid post. So ok.
so I will go now

Sunday, May 22, 2005

I am what I am Mr. Anonymous

You hurt me and you hurt me a lot Mr Anonymous, therefore I delete your comment. You shouldn't write something like this to me. You don't know what I am. WHO I AM?.

Brilliant, what is this stupid question " from which planet are you from?"
is there any options in front of me to live in somewhere except the Earth, I created to live in Iraq and that is also was not my choice.I don't like living on It. I do love Iraq. But I can't stand more .

another anonymous said " you certainly don't deserve the life"
I want to ask you something: am I really a life ? , I can see that BUT I can't felt it.

last night I cried all the night like I have ever did. I am really tired from living.... BUT

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

The nightmare

Hi all,
Well, I am feeling terrible today. If anyone from you read my sister's blog, he might know why I said that.
Me, Najma, and Aya were alone in the house. Me and Aya were a sleep when Najma came and told me to wake up and said that my cousin who work in the shop near from our house call and said there is a mine in front of our house, so we should go to the safe room in the house and opened all the window. We did what he said, at that time there was nothing strange, just the sound of helicopters.
After some minutes the nightmare is began, we didn't know what is happening, we heard sound of Bomb, explosion, shelling . I ran and carry aye and sit in the bed far from the window. Me and Najma began to sing to Aya to not make her scare and then we stopped and hug every gather while a big bomb continue and the windows smash. Every body bagan to call us and ask about what happened. I don't remember what is happened exactly. It look like nightmare while it's not and It seem that It need 2 month not 2 hours .
After some times the road open and my mother reach the house and then my father.
and as Najma said"All the neighbors agreed, never in the war have we been in such a horrible day!"

What happened make me feel sure that American army is occupation forces not anything else.
stay In peace.

Monday, May 16, 2005


Attention .... Attention ..... Attention
I changed my E_mail to
OK? so there is no anymore
If you write an emil to the old one, No body will read it

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Buzz !!

Salam all,
I am really tired now. I wake up at 11 and since then I began helping my parents, they did most of the summer work( They put out the carpets and did things like this).
couldn't sleep well last night because there were sound of helicopters all the night "as usually, but I don't know why she couldn't sleep today and could sleep that days before".

yesterday, I and Najma were waiting Aya to come to our home but she didn't, she stayed with her father while her mother was working at the hospital. Well, my sister said that yesterday there were policemen killed near from the hospital that she work on it,and she saw a lot of patient who attacked and killed by bullets and by bombs.Therefor people I don't want to be a doctor, I am not sure I can see someone hurting, or anything like this. The day I see like this image in the TV I can't sleep well, so how could I see that in front of my eyes?

Well I found nice song for kids at BBC site, If you can help and send me more site to find more music for Tiny aya. I well be very happy.

yesterday we found two newspapers In front of our house and our neighbors houses. It seem that American soldiers put them there " IT IS FREE" and that's mean we will not have to pay 250 dinar to buy a newspaper :) "heh heh".
I don't have anything to say. So I will shut up my mouth instead of talking about silly things.
I just write because I noticed that numbers of the people who visit my blog is going to the less when I don't write. So I will try to refresh your mind every two days :)

pc: It seem that I like my self * :D* coz I used (I) more than twenty times.

OK, I will shut up
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Monday, May 09, 2005

I am an Iraqi girl

Yeahooooooooooooo, now I can say I am an Iraqi girl. I get my Iraqi citizenship before 3 days.
I also went with my father to the shop and bought my present, He bought me a CD, DVD, and cassette player (portable CD MP3 VCD mini component).
Najma helped me to find some songs from the Internet and copied them to a CD, and I looked at the cassette that we have them in home. I found many om-kalthoom's songs, Fayrouze's songs,Abdel7aleem's songs and other singer that every body know them.

I am busy these days with Aya and home work. Najma began her studies :( So she can't spend time with us like before. Yesterday I was alone in the house and I heard a sound of bullets I ran quickly to the window to see if the road closed or not and I found it open. After some minutes Najma's came, she looked bale and she told me that she was too close from the bullets and she saw a man hold a gun pointed it into the policemen, and Najma's friend began to cry when the bullets broke up near from them.
Well, every family in Iraq spend times like this every day. This is what should we pay to America because it gives us the freedom that we need (Note: freedom means do what you want, even it's wrong and should not do. You are free, kill what you want. Steal anybody you want and anything you like) the only think that I studied it in history and discovered that it's right, that he freedom should be something useful. Serve the one AND the community.


Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Salam all,

One week without writing a post made a good numbers of news. What can we do? Iraqi life is really active.
As you know I finished my school last week so that I could go with my mother and my sister (Najma) to visit my grand parents in
The road that leading to
Baghdad was not really good. To be more clearly, there were two booby-trap, one of them was not break out yet, so we changed our way. And the other one was smashed.
Anyway we reach
Baghdad. What happened before (in the last visit to Baghdad) happened this time too. I waited to visit Baghdad all the time BUT when I reach it I wanted to get out of it.
We visit
Baghdad every 6 month or more than that. So between the last two visits there were a big changes. It became worse over time. I was seeing Baghdad like a paradise. And that was in sadam's times.

This visit to
Baghdad was the first one after my uncle Ahmad leaved it. You know how much parents missed their sun?. So imagine How mush my grand father and my grand mother were sad!
Our visit helps them to return the smile into their faces. My cousin moved into my grand parent's house and lived with them. So there was a persone who could play with us.
My cousin learned Me, Najma, and Raghda How to play badminton. We were all bad on it and my mother and my grand's parents didn't stop laughing at us but we became better than before. I also played chess and won when I played with raghda and her brother but I didn't won neither once when I played with my cousin. :(

Some day when I was sitting with Najma , raghda and her brother and my cousin I asked my grad father which group do you prefer Me, Najma and raghda. Or the boy's group? He said I prefer your group. My cousin said (add uncle ahmad to our group)
then Najma said add your little grandchild (uncle ahmad's daughter) and add his wife too. My grand father didn't tell us which group that he prefer after these great change, that because uncle Ahmad's family didn't belong to any group now because they are the family who all the family miss them of course so if we belonged them to any group that mean we are cheating because we will be the winner. And when we asked me grand mother, she said I love you All. You don't know my grand mother, she have a big hard that have a space for all the words.

After 5 days in
Baghdad we came back to Mosul and saw Aya finally. Aya have one tooth now and we are proud of her to have it. Yesterday I and Najma take care of her for a while tell her mother came from her work.
Yesterday at night I asked my mother to choose what she wants to eat in the lunch today and she asked me to cook what I find it easy to me. I DON"T FIND ANYTHING
I don't know why I am telling you this. Do you know incinerated the kind of sweet that I make it yesterday I am not a bad woman all the time. I can clean the kitchen and made it SO clean (that was my mother told me).

Tomorrow I will go with my father to buy my success gift (Yahoo)

See you soon

Monday, April 25, 2005

I will not wait any more

Guess what happened to your friend Hnk?

She got E3faa in all subjects.

OH YEAH, I did it.

I know I did not post from a long time and you missed me so much "so am I"

well I'llt talk about my new school, it's a good school, we have a large yard and therefore I lose my friends all the time, and spend the space time looking for them, then I find Najma who always ask me "why you are not walking with your friends?".
But the problem is our classroom and many other classes have a windows which is facing the street. So when the bullets begin to rain we don't know what to do.

I told you before that I have a problem with physics. Our Physics teacher removed the least mark we had it in the exams. So I got 100,100 and 95 so the mark be at the end 98.

Oh, last week was really bad, we couldn't reach home at time. We often had to leave the car somewhere and go home on foot. "Now I know why my weight is less by 4 kilos".

what do you want me to talk about? I have many things to talk about

The situation is so bad. It's getting worse by time. But we didn't care about our lifes and went out of the house to a picnic with the family.

My English teacher told us to write something about our future and what we want to be in the future. I gave her my homework and she read it and laughed, but she didn't give me any comment :( I will wait till tomorrow and we will see.

Oh I remember I will not go to school tomorrow. All the girls who get E3faa in all subjects didn't come to school from Sunday except me and 2 others girls. So the teacher said that these girls are studying to have full marks not to be educated persons.

I took some sweet with me to school to give it to the teachers. I entered the teachers' room and my legs began to tremble. First teacher looked at me and ask me "Is (A) is your aunt?" I said yes, and she said I saw you when you were a little girl in her house (thanks God she didn't begin to tell me how much a cute girl I was). The next teacher began to speak how a polite girl I am. The next teacher asked me why I would give them sweet (of course it was because of my success). The next teacher stood up and told all the teacher I am Najma's sister. (And the next teacher, and the next teacher AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. They make me crazy.

Yesterday, the computer's teacher came to my class and told the English teacher that she wants me (who me? I am Najma's sister). The English teacher asked: "Najma's sister come here! They want you here." I went there and then the computer's teacher said to the English teacher "she (she meant me) doesn’t' like to be called Najma's sister", the English teacher said "I know". How cute teachers!

I want to learn how to speak French good this vacation, but I don't know how?

I want to learn many things, but I do not know how to learn them and I do not know if there is enough time to learn them all.

Two days before was Najma's birthday. I couldn't go out of the house and that was the cause why I didn't buy a gift for her and therefore I asked her to choose three kinds of sweet to make it for her. So I cooked cream puffs and cream caramel and other one which I don't know it's name in Arabic to know it in English.

That's all what I have

Good bye

Friday, April 15, 2005

Other post

Salam all,
wow, I have only a week and finish my school, and after this week there were two possibility: not have an examinations in all my course, or have an exam in French.
I had French exam next Sunday. And I really need to have a great mark on it.
aya's mother will go back to her work soon, so Aya need someone to take care of her while her mother will be at work, and because my mother can't stop her work at the university. I should take care of her. I am happy but I feel little afraid .
Aya grow up so fast. And she begin more active day after day.
I am not in a good mind to write, but I have a lot of things I want to write.BUT I will go now and I will write to you next week " as I hope". Readers who are interested:
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

اشتعلت نار الحرب

أريد اليوم أن ابدأ الكلام بحروف أبجدية
حتى أنني لا أعلم ما هي
ولكنها تنبعث من قلبي بمعاني فضية
وتظل تقول أنها على ديانة حنيفة
لقد أثارتني تلك المعاني الفضية
وبثتني لأخوض مسابقةحاسوبية
تتحدث عن حضارات تاريخية
ونسيت ان اتحدث عن تلك الاحداث الماضية
والتي حدثت قبل صبح وعشية
نحن الان على استعداد لخوض مسابقة حربية
ولكنها في الاساس حرب نفسية
استهدفت الاسلام والديانة المسيحية
وفرضت الصهيونية واليهودية
هل انني بعد زمان سأمتلك خواصا حسية؟
واستمع الى تلك الامسيات الشعرية؟
ام انني سانفى من البشرية؟
لا ادري ما هي نهاية القضية
من الاولى ان تنتهي بنتيجة ايجابية
لا حوادث لا اشعاعات نووية
لا منشورات لا مسموعات صوتية
لا مغريات بالوان زاهية
سنكون نحن العرب متوحدين سوية
ونمتلك حرية التعبير الديمقراطية
تضرب فينا الامثال ولا القبائل الخزرجية
ان جميع الكتب السماوية
التي نزلت لهداية البشرية
توضح لنا ما هي النهاية الحتمية
ان يوم القيامة كان امرا مقضية
والان وقد مر شهر على كتابة تلك السطور الزخرفية
نبدأ لنوجز ما حل في تلك الايام المقضية
لقد تخطى العدوان جميع البنى التحتية
واستخدم اعنف الاجهزة التكنلوجية
ولقد تعرضت بغداد الى قصف عنيف وخاصة حي الاعظمية
ادى الى تساقط العشرات من النساء والشيوخ والفتية
سبحان الله الذي جعل الناس يكلمون من كان في المهد صبية
سبحانه هو الذي رد كيدهم واذاقهم عذابا مرية
من نيران عراقية وبرطانية وامريكية
لقد دمرت تماثيل صدام و دمرت معها التماثيل الوثنية
ونهبت المدارس والمراكز الحكومية
و نهبت الدوائر والقصور الرأسية
ونهبت المختبرات والكلية الطبية
ونهبت المكاتب والمراكز العلمية
ونهبت البنوك والمتاحف الاثرية
آثار الحضارات البابلية والاكدية والآشورية
هذه الآثار التي لا تقدر باي عمل نقدية
والتي وصل بعضها الى الحدود الاردنية
ونحن نطالب بارجاعها الى مواطنها الاصلية
وكما يبدو اننا سنداوم بدلا من العطلة الصيفية
وهذه احدى المشاكل التي خلفتها الامبريالية الامريكية
نحن الآن ننام على صوت الطلقات النارية
بالرغم من اللجان والسهرات الليلية
التي يفوم بها رجال الحي على مختلف دياناتهم الطائفيه
وبذلك تتمثل روح التعاون في الاعمال الشعبية
تتجول معظم السيارات الكردية
بالتعاون مع القوات الامريكية
في موصل و بغدادوبابل واربيل والسليمانية
باعتقادها اننا نمتلك اسلحة كيمياوية
وكذلك تقوم باعتقال الاسرى وبعض القوات العسكرية
وتقول انها تعاملهم وفقا لمعاهدة جنيف والتي تدعوالى معاملتهم بطريقة انسانية

مر شهران ونحن نعيش حياة مأساوية
لا يعلم كيف ستنتهي الا رب البشرية
وبأعتقادي ان الحرب لم تقم الا لدوافع وفوائد نفطية
وليس كمل يقول الامريكان انها حرب عفوية
نرى في التلفاز مشاهد ستصبح يوما تاريخية
ولربما اصبحت قصة العراق شبه اسطورية
تعذيب ابرياء على يد اقرباء صدام لدوافع لم تكن يوما امنية
بل هي دوافع معظمها شخصية

to be continue Readers who are interested:
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Saturday, April 09, 2005


Yesterday was a really bad day. It began as usual. The first course we had physics examination and I get 25/25. The second course we had a history examination (It was the last history examination In all my life). After that we had a geography.
The teacher entered the class and I ask her a small question and she said
- I will not answer you because last examination that you have done I ask you and other girls If you had a mobile and you said NO and I knew that you had but you didn't accept to take me it.
-(I said) I don't have one
- I know you have. I was not sure but know I am.
I asked her to check my bag to because from my saying, but she said (may be you don't take it with you today but that day you did)
after a long of speech. I discovered that I am a liar and I don't listen to the teacher's order
ah. I swear that I don't have a mobile and I didn't take one with me into the school.
But what could I do and I didn't. I tell her the truth that I don't have one but she didn't believe me.
After that I began to cry and my friends (well not only my friends, they were all the girls in my class) came to me and said that they know that I don't have one, and they ask me not to listen to the teacher's .
well I am feeling so bad till now. ( How poor??)
Today I wake up at 6 o'clock in the morning and after I pray (صلاة الصبح) I began writing and studying my home work but I stopped at 7:30 when The electricity turn off so I slept till 10 o'clock. After two o'clock we went to the north with my uncle and have a great time there but when we came back home there was a surprise waiting us.
We reached the traffic light, there was a burned car with parts of it everywhere.. The windows of the bakery were all broken, and the policemen didn't let us go in the street because the Americans were coming to pass through it. The policeman told my father to not using this road and go back but my father told him that our house is there so the policeman said this is your responsibility . we went back home safe. but it was a really bad surprise.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

This is a picture from my class . from where I spent 5 hours of my time every day.This red bag is mine. and the large Book is a french book that we studied with. Posted by Hello

This view is what you will see if you look out of the windows from my class. and by the way this building was our old school. Posted by Hello

This is the blackboard in our class, where me and maas wrote our names on it today. Posted by Hello

The stairs in my new school Posted by Hello

Saturday, April 02, 2005

heh ..heh ..heh

Hello all,
How are you all? Good?,, let's begin :)
We went to Al-majmauaa today(something like a shop). Me, Najma, and Aya and her mother and her grand mother. Aya showed a lot of intelligent there, she didn't stop talking in her language and guess what she learned how to clap her hand yesterday. Oh children How did they grow fast !!!
Anyway, there we meet another family which have a child older than Aya, He saw aya and said (Dada... dada... dada) and pointed to her, she responding with him and began to talk. So that was cute, but I don't thing his parents saw that cute " they are not cute".
Guess what I bought????
Sami yusuf's song. Is they are these songs which I always put their links in my blog.
BTW, I took a picture for my new school but they are not clear. So when they took us to it I will bring my camera again and take it a pictures for you to see it.


Thursday, March 31, 2005

السلام عليكم:
انها المرة الثانية التي الجأ فيها الى الكتابه باللغة العربية. ربما بسبب قلة القراء من البلدان العربية وكثرتهم من البلدان الاجنبية, ولكن قد لاحظت مؤخرا وجود عدد من المتصفحين من الوطن العربي. وبالطبع فان الامر قد اسعدني كثيرا... ... لا ادري لما الجميع يلجأ في هذا الزمن الى كتابة المدونات او البلوكات او اي كان ما نسميه. ربما لاننا اجبرنا على كتم اصواتنا في السابق وكنا شبه منعزلين عن العالم.لقد اخطات التعبير لقد كنا منعزلين تماما. مجرد التفكير بالماضي يجعل بدني يقشعر وكانني في عز الشتاء . لا اريد ان اتذكر الايام الغابرة . اريد ذكرياتها ان تذهب وتعدو كما يعدو الزمن .
لا ادري ما يستحوي اهتمام العرب من مواضيع ولكن اريد بالفعل كتابة موضوع بالعربية, ساحاول ان انشر قصيدتي التي كتبتها في ايام الحرب. ان كان الموضوع يستحوي اهتمامكم فارجو كتابة تعليق وان كان صغيرا لتشجيعي على نشر القصيدة.
وربما ان وجدت ان الامر قد حاز على انتباهكم سأبدأ بكتابة مدونة بالعربية.
مع السلامة

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Good...better and best news

Note:This post written in 28-March
Hi again,
Do you want to hear a good tidings, I spent a half day working as a baby sitter for Aya.
My mother asked us (I and najma) to take care of Aya while she and my sister go for shopping. We spent 4 hours as baby sitter.The first two hours I took care of Aya, and the other two hours was najma's turn. Najma wanted the first two hours for her but she changed her mind after I told her that she might change her diaper and feed her milk, that's work, I could get the first two ours.
Aya was quite and nice, she didn't cry and she looked happy with me, I am sure from that. I was playing with her, I searchsd in the internet and found songs for children, she amused listened to them.

Atthe night, our neighbour (the mother) came to our house with her son, who is 4 or 5 years old. He was sick and needs injection, so my father had to inject him. The boy began to cry after that, while Aya began to laugh. I don't know why she did that, is she understood what happened and laughed at him? I don't know. Anyway my sister asked him to stop crying and if he still doing that the american soldiers will laugh at him. He said " Let them laugh at me, let them kill me, let them cut my head, I don't mind, let them did what they want to". I joined Aya and began to laugh too.
When we were a children my father refuses to give us injections by himself, whem my cousins were children, they were avoided my father when he went to their house, and they were little afraid from him because he injected them when they were sick. For that my father refuses, to inject any one from us, not to make us hate him. He didn't know that we will still love him whatever he did.

Yesterday one of my friend in the primary school who I didn't seen her from 9 years ago called me. It was really a surprise to me that she still save my number and she still remember me after all these years. I told her that I am aunt now, and she said that she have a niece too.

last good news I have to tell you tha,t today we went and saw our new school which looked as if they will finish the work in the next few days. yahoooooooo

Take care, and see you soon

My families post:
A family from mosul "after 1991"
An average Iraqi "Digital camera" Readers who are interested:
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Thursday, March 24, 2005

Get me out of here

Good day for all,
Thank you all for your supporting me, my family and my blog.
Most of you wandering why I didn't post since along time, and that is because I was busy with my examinations which will not end till after next month. Yes, every day(EVERY DAY) from today till after one month I have an examinations I should get well on them and get a high mark to have a rest in June.
My marks as you know are good except in physics and in French. But I answer good in physics examination today, so I hope I will change my mark and get a high mark in physics and French.

They build a new school for us in front of our old school, and they told us that we will move into it next week "I hope they told us the truth" .
you don't know what did chemistry's teacher do? Last course we got it in chemistry, I didn't understand the lesson and I ask the teacher a question, She looked at me and said YOU (she meant me) (YOU TELL ME why this question have this answered!!! I will make your 99 in last chemistry exam 94 if you didn't answered me) ....OH my god what I have done ??? What should I do???
Thank you God. God is always with you, helping you and listen to you. I don't have any idea How could I answered her right, I just say what I know ... (to be or not to be that is not your choice)..

I will tell you another problem I have. I discovered that 95% from the girls in my class cheat in the examinations .....I don't know what's happened to the peoples . Is that only me who is feeling that the good peoples are less than the bad ones ?

"A" was one of my best friend till this year when she began walking with a bad girl who are not respect the teachers and cheat and do many things I don't like. When I don't like some one, I can't change my view about her, I will remain feeling that he is a bad person and nothing make me change my mind. So this year I didn't only lose my good mark but I lose my friend A and I lose my confidence in peoples and in my self.
I don't know why I am feeling like that. I need something to do and make me feel better about myself. Let's see!! What do you thing that could help me, I want to discover something or did something let me win the noble prize... I want to learn how to make stuff. I want to learn English good, so when I will write something or read something you can understand me and not laughing at me.
Well, I forget what I wanted to write. Is that mean I will say bye and go and not posting till after one month...NO it isn't
I remember... I remember, But How could I forget?. I want to say to all mothers who are reading my post right now, be proud of yourselves You are a great women . And I want to tell all the peoples to take care of their parents and look after them, and when you treat your parents good, your children will treat you as well as you treat your parents.. That's let me remember this story
( there was an ill man who was going to make walking on his feet. His son saw his father tired, so he carry him on his back and walk... The father began to cry. The son asked his father, why he is crying? His father say "I remembered myself before 25 years when I was carried my father on my back in this place)

Give more...Get more
with my love


Sunday, March 13, 2005

Best or worst

Hi people,
Sorry I am late, but now I decided to write a new post because not posting made me sad more than I was.
Anyway, today I got the least mark I have ever got in physics. But on the other side I got 99% in chemist and that made me alive untill now.
There is something strange, when I was at school I felt so sad and I felt I couldn't stand up anymore. but when I go back Home I felt that most my feeling were gone.
Mary came today to the school and she looked better than before but she was feeling bad because she had many examinations to do. And many lessons to study it.
We heard that the final examination will begin on May. There is something we called (E3faa)(اعفاء) this thing give the students a chance not to do the final examination if he or she got more than 90% in this lesson.
I hope I will not take the final examination in all of them, but in physics I don't think I am able to pass it without the final examination.
Tomorrow I don't have any exams and I still don't believe that. but I didn't finish my homework so I must go now.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Thursday, March 03, 2005

let's talking

Hello all,
I am angry now because I was writing a post and I finished write it and when the time to press publish key cam, IT"S GONE, to where I don't know..........SO here am I write it again
the last post I wrote it I was sick but now I am feeling much better but I didn't answer well in physics examination like usually. And when I went to school last Sunday my friends well come me from the door and tell me that my friends Mary will not come to school because her legs broken. I feel so sad when I heard the news and in the next day Mary came to school with her mother to take few days off and she was looking terrible she was walking using a stick. When I saw her I want to cry , she seem that she want to cry too, because her eyes was full in tears but she prevent herself from crying.

anyway I hope she will be better soon and return back to us healthy, and that will not happend till after the15 next days because the doctor tell her not to use her leg now.
yesterday I bought a nice gift from me and maas for Mary, it is a bear

I was thinking of my friends I consider them like my sister (maas, Mary and hanan) all of them let you feel that they are your sisters. Let's talk about hanan, hanan is Christian and she is one of my BEST best friend, I told her this day that I feel she is like me and she said that she feel that too, the point is that our religion is not conflict with our friend ship. At last we are all from Adam.

well I am waiting Aya now. BTW, did I talk to you about how Najma treat Aya?
I don't think so, Najma usually bring something that Aya like her and want to eat her even it's not for eat and take it in front of Aya's eyes and when Aya expand her hands to take it from her aunt, her aunt take it away from her hand, and Aya continue her effort to get it :(
well that is Najma, what can a little sister (me) do about that??? :(
me and Najma are so different in every thing, and if you are asking about who is the strong one and who is the wronged? I tell you, till 2001 I was the strong one and I was control of Najma but after that she could run away from me :( and I lose my control and I be the wronged girl..
well don't think that Najma is a good girl, because she is not. She is perfect and that is not amuse, that make her a bad girl in my eyes....................
well, I feel jealous from her..Yes..Yes I do, don't laugh, that killing me and let me said that. so the only way that let me end talking is to say bye and go
so bye, and have a good week end.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Hello all,
guess what?, my school's microbes are too active!!!!...............
yes... yes... I am sick now.
I don't like that.....................Ever :(
I couldn't play with Aya, or sit near from her ....... ....She looked at me and talked to me and said (waaaahhhwaaaahaa) "I don't know what is that mean in baby's language" but she was waiting me to play with her" I guess" ....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah "well, hnk's language is not so different from baby's language".
Yesterday I didn't go to school till last course, because I was sick, and in the last course I had an examination....

Am I silly today?
well, I am sick
bye bye