Friday, February 24, 2006

Without comment

Twinkle Twinkle my darkness life
Let me see the headlines
I am hurting because I am blind

I am sad and I don't know why. Not because I don't find the reason to feel like I do, but because I don't know which reasons covered my life with all this pain.
Every second make me weaker. With all pressures in the school, with all bombs around me I don't know what to do? What to say? . I don't like sitting in my place, watching the people killing each other, cheating each others and fighting each others.

I can swear that this war changes my life 80 -degree. I am 16 years old. I should live the happiest part of my life; I must be a crazy girl doing foolish and stupid things while I am not. I am talking like some one in 35. I feel I am nothing, I do nothing in my life and I going to do nothing.

My friend's brother is too ill. Before 9 days he wake up and he couldn't see anything. He is now blind and he can't speak, he has a headache all the time. He beccme worse and worse each day. The doctors don't know what happened to him. They give him drugs but his body didn't respond with all their attempts. In Iraq there is no hope to survive. They are trying now to go out of the country and maybe they will find an answer about his state in some country.

Have you ever wanted to disappear?
Have you ever wanted to scream?
Have you ever feel that you are being led by something outside your self?....Well, I am

The electricity is better now. It turns on for about 12 hours now. But the generator crashed. so it stil bad to live 12 hours each day without electricity . I lived 20 hours and some times 24 hours without it but I am sick of it. If that's all what can America give to Iraqi people? 12 hours with electricity. So why they come to Iraq?

In the morning I study in the roof of our house. Sun’s light is a good friend to me these day. Najma and me were studying in the roof yesterday and there were many helicopters flew in the air and around our house. Najma's hope that they will shoot us and so we will not have to study because we will be in the heaven playing. That what she said yesterday. But in Iraq no dream come true thanks God. Look! Can you hear the sound of helicopter? It seems that it hear us talking about it.



Anonymous said...

I will say a prayer for you tonight, that somehow, you can experience the joy of being a teenager.



Something I don't often say, because it gets degraded by overuse:

God Bless You.

Anonymous said...

I have read this blog by you at least 5 times and each time I wanted to post but couldn't find anything that I thought was appropriate to say.It seems you have already said it. Since I don't live your life it would be wrong for me to comment. I will say that I hope things will get better for you and your family and I wish you could leave Iraq for life in a country where you could live a "NORMAL" life for a young intelligent girl of your age. This is my hope.

Dancewater said...

My heart breaks for you and for all Iraq. I sincerely hope it gets better SOON.

Dancewater said...


I think you were crying in your exams for other reasons than the exams. I remember crying once because the water in the bathroom was not working.... but my dad was dying of cancer at the time, so that was probably the real reason. I was 20 at the time.

I have taken your words and will pass them around to friends and relatives. I will have them read from the stage at our Rally for Peace on March 19, 2006. I will copy them and sent them to my US Representative and two US Senators.

I will, at least, make your voice heard.

And I hope it all gets better SOON.

Anonymous said...

With all my Thoughts and grief,and Hopes for real Peace to all Brave people in Iraq. How I wished, I could make that happen for you - you and the people in Iraq dont deserve this pain.
You Are Somebody and you Are Doing Something Very Important for all of us - Bringing your Thoughts out for us to Share.

With all my love and respect.

From Jens.

Karl said...

Hi, Hnk,
I was sent over from a link on "today in Iraq". Today I read several of your posts. You provide an honest and unique window to life in Mosel. I can't help but believe that if enough people look through your window and through the windows of the other Iraqi bloggers, we can bring this madness to an end. What is happening to you is happening to us all. I feel a strength in you that will carry you through.

By the way, I am an old man (almost 63) and I may be living the happiest part of my life. If I could replace my government (the Bush gang) with honest and responsible people, I'm sure it would be.

I send you love and strength,

Anonymous said...

My youngest daughter is 16. What has been taken from you can't be replaced. My daughter can leave the house when she feels like it. She can study when she feels like it. She can visit friends. She can play music (sometimes too loud). She snowboards and is a photographer. She has all those things. She has food and sleep. Most of all she has the security of a home.
My wish is that you have the strength and will to get past this time and you make a life beyond the madness. I hope the madness ends soon. I pray it ends soon.
May Allah protect you and your family and bring your country peace.

Jay said...

Peace, blessings, mercy, and patience be upon you, Najma, and family. Your hard work & patience will pay off. Iraq is going through tough times now and god willing it will get better for your family and Iraq as a whole.

I have faith that god will bring stability to Iraq soon. And you can share the same fruits the rest of us share.

"..insha'allah ukhti, insha'allah.."

Anonymous said...

An Understanding of You.

There is a 'stance' wherein the world exists inside the senses (as in, sound exists only 'inside' the sense of sound). The senses exist within what we call mind, i.e., associating, categorizing, memory, imagining, etc. And the mind exists within the 'I' that I am.

There is an active releasing and clearing of personalities, images and identities that are obviously boxes within one's consciousness.

There is a place where all that exists is what is within me and what is before me. And what is before me feels within me.

There is appreciating of the mystery in that no matter how much I gain in wisdom, your choice could go in an unexpected way.

And there is an occasional knowing that the 'I' that you are and the 'I' that I am is the same 'I'.

There is a way to step into the space that is experienced as the space between us. I wrote about that in another posting last summer. It was called 'Paradox Found.'

There is a willingness to surrender, by which I mean 'opening up to the greater truth of what I am and what is. In doing that I find more stuff to give up. Oh, what a surprise.

And in the experience of this I find a dance that could also be called surfing the intangible. I find you and you take me deeper.

David said...

Dear Hnk,

I can understand that you have many reasons feel sad and without hope. So, I will not pretend for you that everything will be ok. All that I can say is that I care what happens to you and so, I am sure, do many others. Please don't give up and try to help Najma to not give up also.

I hope that your friend's brother will find a treatment that will help him! Please send my best wishes to his family.

Take care.

Anonymous said...

Hello Hnk,
I'm sorry that this war has made you and your friends miserable and sick and in danger. I am working as hard as I can to defeat the party of war here in the USA as soon as possible. Please take care of the children around you and your parents and grandparents. You will live through this. Love you. Richard

Libby said...

Hi hnk

I read your sad post and I don't know what to say. Only, I hope you can go on enjoying the sunshine.


The Grandson said...

Has someone become a poet here ??!

I don't need to imagine like others .. because I am living it ...And I still don't know how can I stand it .. are we so strong ?
It must be something divine .. Only Allah knows how will this end .
My feeling of I'm nothing is growing.

فلا تصفنّ الحرب عندي فإنها ... طعامي مذ بعت الصبا وشرابي

ابو فراس الحمداني


The Grandson said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Hello hnk,

Have you had a chance to download Google Earth? It's a program of satellite imagery. Just wonder if you can see your roof top.

Keep your hand down but sprits up.

(Ps. Karl & Richard, please keep your hatred for President Bush in house. Theres plenty of blame to go around.)

Don From Dallas

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Mad Canuck said...

Hey hnk, I worry about you sometimes when you write posts like this.

I know it's hard to live there right now, but please try to realize that things will get better in Iraq. Iraq is blessed with natural resources, and has a number of very intelligent and innovative people. And, while you may not have stability around you now, you have been blessed by being born into a good and loving family - and for that one reason, I know people here who would gladly trade their lives for yours.

You're a good person, hnk, and you have a bright future ahead of you. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Dear Hnk..

Lets just all of us, sitting here in the west - in u.s.a and in europe, rememper where our cradle for our Civilisations stood...
I will light all my Candles for You and Your contry. And please explain for all of us, how we can find the way back to our shared Humanity.

With love and respect from Jens in Denmark.

And a hope that some day the PEOPLE
of Iraq can foregiv us..

David said...

Hnk, I really like your new blog template! :)

Anonymous said...

Hay how are ya im Ahmad from iraq allso, i havent seen iraq in years i miss bagdad and ofcoures i miss my mom adn dad thank allah for takeing that skumbag SADDAM! .. Im hopeing that id make it to iraq someday :-) and hay girl dont ever put your self down :P like i allways say dont cry just keep your head up not matter what keep your head up . i read some ones post saying that he wishes that you could leave iraq and live a normal life i want to say there is no contry like IRAQ its the mother or all contrys there is nothing like it i mean hell look at me i live in australia and i hate it i know what your think this guy is out of his mind right ! . well i hate it i mean its a nice place to be in and live your life but theres nothing better then home HOME IRAQ . huk belive it or not i feel your pain i left in the golf war [91]and you dont know how i miss IRAQ i wanna get marred [hehe]and iraqi woman :P there is nothing like em but yeah that would take some time for iraq to be safe . but yeah i realy love your blog realy pain full but you NEED TO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP and leave it up no matter what no what happens :)

Ahmad from australia

Anonymous said...

Hi Hnk!
Your blog's window opened as I was looking for photos of the holy city Mecca. I live in italy and I am organising a student party inspired on arab culture tonight. But the I began to read what you recently wrote on tour blog and I felt uneasy and without the party-feeling I had before. Looking from here, from a peaceful and rich Europe, the things you write about your daily life seem just impossible. We can't imagine what it is, and I guess I can't. And Ihave to think that the country in which I live took part to this stupid Iraq war. I feel at the same time responsible and impotent. You are right, you should be able to do foll things at your age, as I still am doing with 24. Thank you for your chronichles, I hope that every citizen of my country will read something like this...
Continue writing us, you are a soldier of peace and dialogue.