Awch

Al Salam_alykum,

I have no destination in this post but my inner mind order me to write a new post and I am following whatever he said since I am not putting myself in bad shoes.

Before a couple of days, my mother took me to a little shop near her college in order to buy me clothes for Eid. Well I was walking so confidently in that serpentine street, taking two steps after another, and following my mom who was walking fast as always.

In the middle of this race, I felt the gross surface of the street leaving light touch in my face. The inner mind commented that we fell on the ground, and we (me and the inner mind) have to stand-up as fast as we can without making a joke of ourselves!!

Well, It’s his choice and I am not going to follow this (creepy thinking) so I left him with his orders alone and shouted to my mom who was away from me, she was going to enter the shop when I stopped her “ mom I fell, please wait me” I didn’t stand on my feet till she came and helped me. I felt pain in my right leg but never mind, let’s go shopping

Well, I got a new Jacket if that interest you !! but it was a really bad day. Ofcourse the pain left its effect on this weak body who didn't stop said "Awch" everey few hours. well, It was really geat falling; It left a blue sign in my knee.

In this lucky day, I went to the dentist and he asked me to wear the braces over again.

OH, can’t these teeth live in peace!! should they share me that too !! I wore the braces three years and I never get my teeth straight.

The problem is when I took a picture, I got a three dimensional one!

my face seems to be oriented in a different side from my teeth. And this Brace is so cool in torturing human being by putting our teeth restricted in its own home (mouth!!)

It’s hurting me so much!! I can’t eat many kinds of food. I hardly gained 4 pounds last two month and I don’t want to lose it… I want to make this triangular face more rounded. And I am not yet an artist !!

Stay safe, and eat well

Naseem Al_ Ma7aba

وجهٌ كسيرٌ وابتساماتٌ

كضوء الصُبحِ بَعثَرَها السأم..

حُلمٌ حَزينٌ بينَ أطلالِ النهايةِ

في ذبولٍ ...يبتسم..!!

عمرٌ على الطرقاتِ كالطفلِ اللقيطِ

يسألُ الأيامَ عن أبٍ .. وأُم


هذا هو حالُ الوطن... لـــ فاروق جويدة

We ( Arab) in general are good with words, we always said "we will " but never do...

So as an iraqi girl ( arabian girl as well ) I want to say as I said manytimes before :
I have to do something, I have to change the situation, I have to kill the bad feeling that emerges with each bad news, with each bombs and with each hope scrach.

A group of youth Iraqi Moslawi people dispose this arabian habit, they are the group of (Naseem al-mahaba نسيم المحبة). they arranged many visits to Mosul's hospitals, Orphanges, old age hospital and gave a big help for better.

I wanted to take a real step and so I joined them in their visit to the orphange this month.
I was really confuse about this visit, because I haven't been in such place before.

Before the visiting day, I prepared the gifts for the orphans, and a kind of sweet, I bought a lunch meal and my mother gave me an amount of mony as a help to be given to the orphange's master.


As a first sight, the orphange looked better than I was expected. It was Neat and well arranged.
the orphans girls were so shy in the begining.
We spent the time there by talking with the girls, playing with them and share them the lunch.
I think we both spent a pleasure and rich moments.



the girls show us their rooms, the rooms are small (somehow) consist of 4 beds and Clothes closet, but it had well looking.


there was a moment that affect on me stongly, it was when a girl sing a poem that said in one of it's chapters:

وأعني في دروسي وأداء الواجباتي
وأحفظ أمي وأبي وكل أصدقائي

which include a prayer to Allah for giving health and strong to her parents !!

_______________________________________


Iraq, Our orphan country !! why I see you in each of this girl's eyes.
Why I see you as one of them !!

They are with no parents, with no one to hug each times they cry, with no one protect them and call him a father and with no one to be produce as their mother!!

And you are my sweety country with no real president protect you with each offensive cost you hundreds of bodies and citizen's blood ( with no protection!). You are with no (one) to be produce as your hustler, and no (thing) as your future !! ....you are a real orphan.


And I am a citizen's orphan with no ( Country ) to be produce as my home, since home mean a place that give you peace and comfort and I am not feeling comfort !!! and

ِI AM NOT LIVING IN PEACE

Ramadan kareem..

What is Ramadan? By: wikipedia

Ramadan is the name of the ninth month of the Islamic calender.


What make this month a holly month?
Ramadhan was the month in which the first verses of the Qura'an were revealed to the prophet Mohammed (صلى الله عليه وسلم)

Why this month is special?
In this month, We ( Muslims) fast from from dawn until dusk. In Mosul/Iraq this mean fasting from about 4 Am till about 7 pm.


What is fasting?
It means that Muslims refrain from eating, drinking, smoking, and indulging in anything that is in excess or ill-natured.

Why we fast?
Fasting is meant to teach the Muslim patience, modesty and spirituality. Ramaḍān is a time to fast for the sake of Allah, and to offer more prayer than usual. During Ramaḍān, Muslims ask forgiveness for past sins, pray for guidance and help in refraining from everyday evils, and try to purify themselves through self-restraint and good deeds. As compared to solar calendar, the dates of Ramadan vary, moving forward about ten days each year.



What Ramadan make us feel?
Whem Muslims fast from eating throught this 14 hours, they feel in poor people who are suffering from hunger and this give them the mercy forward those poor people.

And for Iraqi people..
Ramadan is the only month, I enjoy peace during the year. not the general peace but the inner peace.

رمضان مبارك, رمضان كريم
أهلا رمضان...

Ramadan kareem for all, and may this Ramadan be the light of peace upon this country.

For many reason,I found myself not good with words and unable to write a post about what is happening here in Mosul and in Baghdad.

At the time I should write about what's happening,I feel more lost, blind,so helpless. And unable to take a look to the news..

I am just trying to keep on going....!!!
My sister always remind me that this is only a passing thing !!
well, I am not sure about what we are going throught will get us to a better place,better times and better faith !!

Phobia

Iraqi's phobias

Many examples I watched in the people around me, people who have phobia from Bullets, explusions and bomb cars, People having phobia from Iraq for a major extent.

Welcome, to the country of fears:

*Two women walking around (me and my mother) accompanied with a man (my uncle in law) who is carrying a little box, they passed thought one of the National Guard (حرس وطني).

The Guard: where are you going to localize this bomb??

My uncle:”Some where nears your place (slightly smiling)!!”My uncle put a little boxes one after another on the ground where I was standing near. I and my mother were looking for a taxi to take us to our house.

The Guard didn’t stop repeating his words “How terrible; me, the hajia حجية (he meant my mother) and this girl are all going to smash out…., “

“Putting a bomb in this place will kill us all”, “surely; we are going to die, and no one will survive”

I don’t think he was a humorous nor was afraid but he was REALLY annoying me. But After a long thinking, I guess he passed through this experience before, otherwise he wasn’t going to be that sure of our possible death!! ^__*

*Frog phobia may work for suspected person:

Entering the college from the main gate will cost you 90 seconds by women standing in the middle of the entrance who is working as check point, looking into your bag and searching for cell phone or grenade you hide inside!!

In the first stage in our college, we had to bring some live frog for dissection purpose (^__^ Humanitarian purposes, ha??), my friend who had put her frog and cell phone in a container stopped in this check point, the women asked her what she had put inside the container, my friends replied with confidence “nothing, it’s just a live frog for the lab, do you want to have a look “, the women cried : go away and give the turn to the next.

Note: check point is looking for cell phone with cameras which are not allowed to be carried inside the college for unreasonable causes.

But why the shell and grenade are not allowed? I still can’t find out, but I don’t bring them with me anyway ^__* let's hope this have a reasonable causes!!.

*Bullets and Explosion phobia: (Ballistophobia)

Since the car bomb exploded near her sisters and left an injury on them, my friend (N) has a phobia and whenever any explosion takes place, she becomes pale and asks for a seat!!

How lucky, she has many couches and chairs in her house so she can enjoy her summer holiday setting for along long times each day!! ^__^

_Do you know that Iraqi people’s minds always translate any loud sound as it was a sound of expulsion?

You can identify Iraqi people who will lower their head and may but their hand around whenever loud sound is heard.

Once I was out of Iraq _a balloon punctured and made a sound which freaked me out so a man in the shop brought me a glass of water.

* 8 glass of water is the daily need for normal person, 10 glass of water for iraqi people!!! Just kidding *

I always feel a little freaky when I see boxes in the middle of the street!, and When I see a man with a long beard and short (dishdasha دشداشة)!!! On the other hand, I am the kind who like beard for elder men!! Its strange how life put you in a position that you can’t know what is your view of issues!!

Some people have fears from driving a car in Mosul's streets, from being near one of the government building, from participate in the elections, from taking a taxi, from visiting Shiea's neighborhood, from being rich!and there are some kinds who have fears from going out of house even in a shiny lovely day (random bulets, sudden curfew, booby cars,..to the end of the list)

That's all what come to my mind as examples of iraqi's phobia

By following those links, you can read:

About me recently updated.

My book recently published.

I would like to read your comments, may you all leave your footprints in this blog!

Just talking

Hello to everyone,


I was chatting with my friend ( N ) who said that when she left Iraq for Turkey she was so miserable and she didn't enjoy her time there because she had home sickness. Although she is not a writer and not the kind who is good with words, she felt that she needs to write.


I don't know why she told me this, maybe she passed on this blog and she was wondering whether it's mine or not.

Anyway, when she said that she felt homesickness and so she wanted to write a diary.


umm, I think that's exactly what I am feeling, I am feeling home sickness although I am stand still in Iraq.

When we traveled to Mecca or to Syria, I don't really want to get back.
Maybe because that There I felt peace which reminded me of my home (Iraq in it's shiny times) and that what I was and still looking to have!

So I think me and ( N ) have different side view for the whole situation.


Well, it's not only peace and the time limiting of the curfew!
Everything changed!! Even the people themselves including me!!
Before, when I watched the news and saw an injured person_ I colored my day with sad and some tears as adornment.

Now, if I watched news. My emotions don't really move by any sight!! Umm, I just change the channel and try to forget whatever I saw and this 90% worked with me!!

*Am I that kind who is trying to look straight?
*Or I am the person whose heart is hardened with times?
*Or I am just trying to escape from reality?

This is the question.

A relative of mine (who is in my list on facebook) shared a song called
( Je m'appele Baghdad ) by Tina Arena which I found it really amazing by it's words and voice that tend to tremble me


J’ai vécu heureuse - I lived happily
Dans mes palais - in my palaces
D’or noir et de pierres précieuses - of black gold and precious stones
Le Tigre glissait - The Tigris was flowing
Sur les pavés de cristal - on crystal cobblestones
Mille califes se bousculaient - thousand caliphs lined up
Sur mes carnets de bal - on my bal lists

On m’appelait - They called me
La Cité pleine de grâce - the city full of grace
Dieu - God
Comme le temps passe - how time goes by

On m’appelait - they called me
Capitale de lumière - capital of light
Dieu - God
Que tout se perd - everything gets lost

Je m’appelle Bagdad - My name is Baghdad
Et je suis tombée - and I fell
Sous le feu des blindés - under the fire of the tanks
Sous le feu des blindés - under the fire of the tanks
Je m’appelle Bagdad - My name is Baghdad
Princesse défigurée - disfigured princess
Et Shéhérazade - and Sheherazad
M’a oubliée - has forgotten me

Je vis sur mes terres - I live on my land
Comme une pauvre mendiante - as a poor begger
Sous les bulldozers - under the bulldozers
Les esprits me hantent - ghosts haunt me
Je pleure ma beauté en ruine - I weep over my beauty in ruins
Sous les pierres encore fumantes - under stones still smoldering
C’est mon âme qu’on assassine - its my soul they murder

On m’appelait - they called me
Capitale de lumière - capital of light
Dieu - God
Que tout se perd - everything gets lost

Je m’appelle Bagdad - My name is Baghdad
Et je suis tombée - and I fell
Sous le feu des blindés - under the fire of the tanks
Sous le feu des blindés - under the fire of the tanks
Je m’appelle Bagdad - My name is Baghdad
Princesse défigurée - disfigured princess
Et Shéhérazade - and Sheherazad
M’a oubliée - has forgotten me

Mes contes des mille et une nuits - My thousands and one nights stories
N’intéressent plus personne - don't interest anybody anymore
Ils ont tout détruit - they destroyed everything

Je m’appelle Bagdad - My name is Baghdad
Et je suis tombée - and I fell
Sous le feu des blindés - under the fire of the tanks
Sous le feu des blindés - under the fire of the tanks
Je m’appelle Bagdad - My name is Baghdad
Princesse défigurée - defaced princess
Et Shéhérazade - and Sheherazad
M’a oubliée - has forgotten me

A book coming out, it's my diary which make it my book !!

(( People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of ))
Paulo Coelho.



Every thing begin with an idea, and then become a dream, a dream become a destination and then finally become a work that may lead to success.

I had read a words that had been stocked in my ears "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it"

And I really did want to write a book so strongly and there were and are still some people stand beside me and pushing me forwards to achieve my dream and my goal.


Haymarket's book ,
John Ross ,
Elizabeth Wrigley ,
Sasha Crow (my dear friend) ,
Grandfather ,
Mam and dad
And my annoying sister,Najma ^__*

Here in this book, I shared my diary with you.
In this book, you will read my thoughts, my poems, and most of my last post and you will have an idea of my life as a teenager in the middle of this war.

Best wishes &
May all your dreams come true...

H.N.K

http://www.haymarketbooks.org/product_info.php?products_id=1776

Coming back to blogging world

Since my last post, many things happened and most of them are good :

1- I am now 20 years old so you are not going to read a diary of a teenager girl but a woman !!
I guess :)

2- I finished my exams after a very hard month in a hard year (Second stage), my result showed an average between 60--70 in all subject which made me a 20 years lazy Iraqi women indeed.





3- After few days from the beginning of my holiday, me and my parents went to Saudi_ Arabia for Umrah (عمرة) and I came back few days ago.

It was always a dream in my list to visit makka and to see al ka'aba and I am so happy that I had this chance, wishing that I can accomplished each dream in my wish list :)

Here are few pictures that I can share :



This is al_ masjed al nabawy from outside in Al_madina.In our visit, we first went to Jeddah by airplane directly from Mosul, and then went to Al_madina by Bus.

Saudia is differ from Turkey and Syria that I had visit before. Well, it's more like desert but it's unique by it's holly places.


















After spending 4 days in al madina, we went to Makka also by Bus and did Al_Umrah and saw al kaba'a for the first time, well it's more beautiful than I can describe and smaller than I thought, and it's so beautiful and it made me feel in peace.
Anyone really need to sepnd hours just looking at it, imagining it.... Bretty place.






This is a picture of building that located infront of Al-Ka'aba.

well, most of them are Supermarket, Moles, and restaurand. we don't have McDonald's, KFC and such restaurant in Iraq, so we really enjoy food ^__^




































Now, I feel like I was dreaming, And I was not really there :) I don't know why, the days I spent there were passing on high speed.

our bathroom, my bed were the things I missed most. The hotel we settled in were not good and I am not going to share it's badness with you.

After spending 10 days in Saudia, I came back to my hometown where bullets and explosions were the receptor to the real life.

Usually, when someone come back from Umrah or al-Haje, the people visit him/her, usually Zamzam water is being given to the visitor. And we used these small cup for this purpose.

There are also some kind of special sweet ( Baqlawa بقلاوة , men al samah من السما ), and gifs from Saudia.


































I am now busy with visitor and the house work and so I am going to help my mam now and write a new post soon inshallah.

دمتم بحفظ الله ورعايته
و
مع السلامة

How a girl suppose to study !!

One of the main problem that I was facing the last two year, And since I went to the college of pharmacy is that I don't have any time to do any thing but studying
* And weeping, and that's what I am already doing it :)*


I am now with no force to study a page of my stupid lectures. And my final examination will begin in 24 of April and will end in 27 of June.


Time: 11:20 PM.
my mood : is orange :) * kind of expression, to indicate how bad my mood is *
weather: hot

I need nothing but your prayer.. so pray for me